


voice like honey

by johnllauren



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Library, Anxiety, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Singing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, baby cronus, dave and karkat are so good with kids, dave has anxiety and implied ptsd but there are warnings before its mentioned, karkat and dave use their usual foul language, nanny karkat, toddler meenah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-06-15 05:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15405945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnllauren/pseuds/johnllauren
Summary: Karkat Vantas has just taken up a last-minute summer job as a nanny for his friends’ two sweet but rambunctious kids. When a heatwave strikes, Karkat’s forced to think of a way to entertain them that isn’t just taking them to the pool all day, and the library seems like a good air conditioned place to take two little kids.There, Karkat meets Dave Strider, the children’s librarian with a love for kids and a guitar. Karkat starts taking the kids there every time there’s a sing-a-long.Karkat sure doesn’t expect to fall for the hot librarian with a voice like honey. Dave has to learn to stop thinking about a stupidly handsome nanny while he’s trying to sing.





	1. karkat == > give up

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and - 

“I’m going to lose my fucking marbles.” you say. You’re sitting on the couch with one hand holding the phone and the other one close to pulling out your hair. The television is still on, playing Bubble Guppies, and the children are in their bedroom, after forty-five minutes of trying to put them to bed. 

Kanaya, on the other end of the line, chuckles. “You’re doing fine,” she tells you. 

“I have no idea where you pulled that out of your ass. The kids are tired and bratty all the time and I don’t know how to entertain them so I keep taking them to the pool but now they’re both sunburned and miserable and I’m at my wit’s end!” You complain. 

Your friends fucking trusted you to nanny and here you are, only a week into this job and already failing miserably. 

“I told you I could take them for a day if you need.” she says, because she’s an amazing and wonderful friend. But you’re tired of needing someone to take care of things for you, and Kanaya isn’t your fucking mother, and you want to do this by yourself. 

You shake your head. “No, no, it’s fine, I can do this. I just need to know how to entertain them.” 

Kanaya sounds like she’s considering something. “Well, you know Rose works at the library, so she’s always telling me about what it’s like there, and the children’s librarian puts on storytime twice a week, with singing and dancing and everything. It’s for kids from birth to five years old, so they can both come.” 

You half suspect that Kanaya only brought that up because she loves talking about her fiance. 

“The library? How is anyone supposed to have any fun at a library?” You demand. 

“I’m just saying, it’s worth a shot. The next storytime is at 11 in the morning tomorrow, and it might do you and the kids good to go, see what it’s like.” Kanaya says. 

You sigh. It’s either the library or keeping them inside all day. 

“Fine, I’ll go. But if it blows I’m not going there again.” You relent. 

“Excellent! I’ll tell Rose you’re going.” Kanaya chirps, far too proud of herself, and hangs up. 

You drop the phone next to you on the couch and put your head in your hands. Are you really so bad at nannying that you have to take the kids to a library? 

Whatever. It’ll do you good to get out to a place that doesn’t have direct sunlight shining down on both you and the two small children you’ve been entrusted with. And you guess you could always check out a book of things to do with kids. And maybe the kids could even make some friends. 

You shut off the television and get up from the couch, heading into the kids’ room to make sure they’re asleep. The light is still off - that’s a good sign - so you open the door slowly. Their night light is on, giving you enough light to see. Sure enough, they’re both asleep - Meenah in her bed and Cronus in his crib. You smile to yourself and leave their room quietly, shutting the door. 

They’re good kids, really, if a little impatient and whiny. 

How the fuck did you get into this mess? 

Well. Your best friend, Sollux, and his husband, Eridan, have gone to Greece for the summer to see Eridan’s family or something, and they needed a nanny to watch their baby, Cronus, and toddler, Meenah, Eridan’s biological kids from his first marriage. And you weren’t going to agree - until you went out with Sollux and got quite drunk and then Sollux showed you a video of Cronus wiggling his butt. And you were gone. 

And now you’re here. Sitting in their house and taking care of their children. Sure, you like kids and you’ve been a babysitter before, you just think you’re in over your head. 

You walk into the kitchen and start making yourself dinner. 

By the time you’ve made chicken and rice and are sitting down, about to eat it, the baby starts to cry. You sigh, leave your food on the table, and get up to take him before he wakes his sister. 

“Hey, Cronus, dude.” you say softly, lifting him up. He’s just over a year now, and he’s gotten much heavier than he used to be, but you can still pick him up. “You hungry, little guy?” 

Cronus obviously doesn’t understand you, so you keep holding him while you walk into the kitchen, preparing him a bottle of warm milk. “Karkat’s gonna feed you, okay?” 

You’re really glad that hardly anyone sees you around babies. Normally, you’ve got an angry reputation to uphold, but you’re much softer with kids. You balance Cronus on your hip and pull the bottle out of the microwave, holding it to his mouth as he starts to drink. He stops crying. Thank god. 

You feed him, and then he gets sleepy, and you hold him for a little while before putting him to bed. Then you microwave your dinner and eat. 

It isn’t even late - it’s only 10 - but you’re exhausted from dealing with little kids all day. You tidy the kitchen so you can make breakfast without tripping over your own mess tomorrow and then retire to your makeshift bedroom, which is just Sollux’s guest room. 

Your bedroom isn’t awful, just… small and not your own. The only furniture you’ve brought from your own apartment is a bookshelf to house all your romance novels. You open the one you’re currently reading and lie down on your bed, reading it until you’re tired enough to fall asleep. 

 

The next morning, your alarm starts going off at 5:30. You groan. “Shut the fuck up, asshole,” you say to your alarm clock, like some fucking idiot who talks to inanimate objects. You’ve only god fifteen minutes until the kids wake up, so you drag your sorry ass out of bed and hit the shit out of your alarm until it shuts up. 

Sure enough, Meenah wakes up before you’re done with your first cup of coffee. “Good morning, kiddo,” you say in between sips while she toddles into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. 

“‘Morning.” She replies, pulling herself into her little pink chair. “What’s for breakfast?” 

“What do you want?” You ask, already knowing what she’s going to say. 

Meenah grins. “Fish pancakes!” 

You shake your head. “Again?” You fill up a plastic cup with water and place it on the tiny pink table that matches her chair. 

She nods aggressively, and her entire body moves with her head. 

“Alright.” You move to the fridge and gather the ingredients you need. “Is your brother awake?” 

“Don’t think so.” 

You set about making her ‘fish pancakes,’ which are literally just regular pancakes shaped like fish. Eridan has always loved fish, and he’s passed off his sick obsession to his spawn already. Meenah wants fucking fish pancakes every single day. At least her brother is easy - Cronus is content with a bottle and dry cheerios, even though half of them end up on the floor every morning. You dread the days when they’ll both want pancakes. 

The first pancake is on the griddle when Cronus starts crying. 

“Alright, Meenah, I’m gonna get your brother. You stay here and make sure nothing happens to your pancake, ‘kay?” 

Meenah nods like she’s just been entrusted with the most important job in the world. 

You retrieve Cronus, change his diaper, and make faces at him until he starts laughing. Then you bring him into the kitchen and sit him in his high chair, returning to the stove. The pancake hasn’t burned yet - thank god - probably because you lowered the heat to 1. Meenah tells you she watched the pancake to make sure it didn’t burn, and you make sure to give her an exaggerated thanks. 

Meenah gets her fish-shaped pancakes and claps her hands excitedly, then you go straight to making Cronus breakfast. You turn on the dining room television and let them watch cartoons while you clean up the mess you’ve made. 

“What we doing today?” Meenah asks you. 

You hope she takes this well. “We’re going to the library for storytime.” 

Meenah makes a face. “The quiet place?” 

“It’s going to be fun. There’s gonna be songs and dancing. If you’re not having fun, we can go home. And Cronus is coming too.” 

She seems disinterested. Cronus chucks a handful of cheerios onto the kitchen floor. 

You really hope this library thing goes well.


	2. Dave == > do your thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Dave Strider, and you are the sickest children's librarian in the whole world, and you're about to prove it with your kickin' story time.

Your name is Dave, and you are so ready to get down and boogie with some little kids. 

That is, if you can even manage to get all your shit out of this car. 

You’re 25, and you’ve already got a bona-fide mom van. Shit is all Honda Odyssey up in here. Mostly because you’ve got so much stuff to lug back and forth from the library, including your guitar and a shitload of paperwork. You get out of your car and open the trunk, slinging your guitar case over your shoulder and grabbing your paperwork tote bag and your personal messenger back. Balancing all three is tricky, but someone’s gotta be head children’s librarian here. 

You hit the door’s automatic open button with your elbow on the way in. Someone - probably John or Rose - has already disabled the alarm, thank god, so you can walk in without having to punch any buttons. 

“Goooood morning!” you call as you bustle through the front of the library into the back rooms. You head to the break room and unceremoniously dump your shit onto the floor. 

“Hey, Dave!” John says. He’s sitting at the break room table, reading a little paperback with yellowed pages. 

“Sup.” You open your guitar case and pull out your precious baby, who you’ve named Sweet Bro. You start tuning her up, and once you’re done you rest her on the stand until you’re ready to take her out. “What are you reading?” 

John grins, looking up. “Some history book about Charlemagne’s impact on the US. Nobody’s checked it out since 2011, so we’re supposed to take it out of the system today and get rid of it. I thought it might be interesting, but it turns out it’s a load of bullshit.” 

“We’re getting rid of books today?” You ask. 

“Yeah, but nothing interesting. Rose already called dibs on the book about Cthulhu, but it turns out we’re only getting rid of it because she’s been hoarding it under her desk so she can read it in her downtime, so nobody was even able to check it out.” John says. 

You laugh. You fucking love Rose. 

You leave your guitar on its stand in the back, deposit your lunch in the fridge, and take your bags to your desk in the children’s section. There’s still 7 minutes until you open - fuck, look at you, you’re early today - which leaves you time to actually organize a little. Then, when Rose opens the library for the day, you start setting up for storytime. 

“Setting up?” Rose asks from her desk as she watches you move furniture. 

“No, I’m just lifting up chairs for fun here, Rose.” You tell her. 

See, you try to be humble about storytime, but it’s made you something of a town celebrity. When you got your job at the library, attendance was at an all-time low, and there was talk about closing the whole thing. And then at the library’s Christmas party, you had mentioned your love for singing and playing the guitar, and the library’s director, Terezi, had pitched the idea of storytime to you, and you said “well, worth a fuckin’ shot” and here you are. 

Now the children's’ programs all get over 60 attendees, and even attendance overall is up. Skaia Public Library as a whole has ‘modernized,’ you guess, in that you try to have fun programs that people will enjoy participating in even though not a lot of people are avid readers anymore. Your storytimes get at least 70 people to show up every week, and it’s a little hard to squeeze them all into the library, but you make do. 

And hey, with all these people showing up, your government funding has gone through the roof. 

You set up for storytime alone, mostly - all you have to do is line up chairs in the back and the sides of the area for the parents and clear a bunch of floorspace for the kids. You set up a chair for yourself and another chair for your stack of books you’ll be reading. 

By the time you’re done, people are already coming in. You know most of the regular kids and their caregivers already, and you can greet them by name. While you set out the sign-up sheet, small arms wrap around your knee. You look down. 

“Hey, Aranea, good morning!” You say, looking down at the toddler who has attached herself to your leg. 

“Hi Dave,” she responds. The other librarians have the kids call them “Ms” or “Mr” but you don’t bother with that crap. You’re not an authority figure - your brother was, and you don’t want to be anything like that. 

You reach down to play with her hair. It’s black as night but fluffy like goose down. 

Aranea and her babysitter show up to every storytime. She started coming to the library when she was basically a newborn - Rose’s fiance apparently has some sort of ties with Aranea’s cousin, or something like that… you don’t like to get into all the dumb neighborhood connections that Rose’s fiance has (Rose said it’s something to do with high school, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, so you gave up). 

“Are you ready to have fun today?” you ask her, crouching down on the floor so she can see you better. 

Aranea nods. “Dance little children!” she chirps - the lyrics to the song you always sing with them. 

You grin. “Yeah, we’re gonna dance, and we’re gonna shake our sillies out!” You tell her. 

“I’m gonna have m&m’s.” she says next, like it’s the logical next step to this conversation and also like it’s a trusted government secret. 

You gasp. “Really? What kind?” 

“The small ones,” Aranea seems to not notice that, objectively, all m&m’s are small. 

“That is so cool! You know, I love m&m’s. Do you love m&m’s?” 

She nods aggressively, practically squealing with delight, and then her babysitter leads her into the seating area. 

Rose looks up from her desk, amused. The reference desk is right next to the sign-up sheet, so she definitely saw everything. “If you’re so good with children, why don’t you want your own?” 

“Strawberry cheesecake off, Rose.” You say, standing back up to normal human height. You curse all the fucking time, but cursing around little kids is totally not cool, so you curse in ice cream flavors when you’re at the library - preferrably ones that are hard to pronounce, so the kids don’t repeat you. 

She rolls her eyes at you. 

You love kids - really, you do - you just don’t want your own. For a lot of reasons that you don’t want to get into. Rose knows this, part because she’s your half-sibling and part because she’s good at figuring people out. 

“10:55, Dave,” John tells you from the circulation desk - your five-minute warning. 

“Thanks, John.” You retreat into the back to get your guitar. It’s tuned already, so you adjust the strap over your shoulder, grab your stand, and head out. “One of you will do headcount, right?” 

Aradia, seated next to John at the circulation desk, shoots you double pistols and a wink in a response - her universal gesture for ‘agreeing to do something.’ You give her a nod in thanks and she grins. 

“Who’s ready for storytime?” You ask, excitedly, smiling at all the kids and parents in front of you. You’re met by a chorus of smiling and excitement. 

You sit down at your story time swivel chair and pluck at your guitar. The kids already know what song you’re going to play, because it’s the first song you play every week. 

“Dance little children, dance little children, dance little children, dance,” you sing as you play the guitar. In response, the kids around you are jumping up and down on the floor, while their caregivers look on, laughing. You repeat the chorus once more before launching into the first verse. 

“Where is your nose, where is your nose, where is your no-ose?” the big kids - well, the ones old enough to know what you’re saying - all point to their noses. The caregivers move the babies’ hands for them. “Where are your eyes, where are your eyes, where are your eyes?” 

And with that, you go back to the chorus, and then the second and third verses - asking them to show you their ears, knees, mouth, and elbows. The fourth and last verse is always the best, and it’s always the one that gets the most laughs. 

“Where’s your belly button, where’s your belly button, where’s your belly but-ton? Show me! Where’s your belly button, where’s your belly button, where’s your belly button?” 

The kids are absolutely gleeful at that, lifting up their shirts and pointing to their belly buttons. A little-known fact of nature is that belly buttons are the peak of small child humor. Even the babies laugh, because it tickles when the adults touch their belly buttons. 

You round the song off with another chorus, and people clap, and you take a fake bow, and then you start reading the first story. It’s called Jump! And it’s about a fuckton of animals jumping and it’s one of your favorite stories to read to them, mostly because they all jump. After that come more songs, and more singing, and more dancing. 

“Are you guys ready for one last song?” You ask. Your audience nods. 

“Mr. John!” You call, cupping your hand over your mouth, even though you know he can hear you anyway. He looks up, and you beckon him over, and he comes and stands next to you. “Now, this is a song that I like to sing to Mr. John when it’s very early and we get here, because he’s always very tired. I think you know what song I’m talking about - can we sing to Mr. John?” 

This time, your voice is combined with many others while you sing. “Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? Sonnez le matines, sonnez le matines! Din, dan, don. Din dan don.” 

You are so proud of these fucking kids for singing in French. They might not even know that it’s french but you’re swelling up with pride nonetheless. 

“English this time! Are you sleeping, are you sleeping, Mr. John, Mr. John? Morning bells are ringing, morning bells are ringing, ding dang dong, ding dang dong!” The kids clap, and sing along, and point at John. 

John laughs. “Haha, alright, I’m awake now, I promise.” he opens his eyes extra wide to prove his point. 

The kids cheer like they all personally did something right. John returns to the circulation desk. 

“Alright, everyone, remember to take a coloring page on your way out! And remember, later today we’re having Legos at the library - parents, that’s at 4, if you want to bring them, they can create their own lego creations and have them displayed in the library! Okay, thank you for coming, everybody! Did you have fun?” 

With that, the entire library is engulfed in the post-story time frenzy, when a shit ton of children are suddenly released upon the world. Most of them go straight to the children’s section, to play with the toys. Your desk is also over there, so you’ll suspect they’re all going to want to talk to you. You grin. 

Rose stops you while you’re putting away the sign-up sheet. “Dave, I have someone for you to meet.” 

You raise both of your eyebrows like you’re raising a goddamn child, that’s how high you raise them. “What are you on about.” 

Rose smiles that sly smile of hers. “I’ve got someone new to storytime, and I think you should meet him.” With that, she walks away, revealing an angry-looking dude holding a baby and a toddler standing next to him, holding his hand. 

“Good morning,” you greet pleasantly, your children’s librarian facade still 100%. 

The guy looks you up and down. He seems to be about your age, and he’s got scruffy black hair with angry eyebrows to match. He’s also significantly shorter than you, which makes it hard for you to find him particularly threatening. 

“So you’re the crotchsniffer with a guitar that causes flocks of toddlers to swarm here every week.” He says. 

“Okay dude, as much as I’m totally into the creative curses thing you’ve got goin’ on here there’s uh small impressionable children running around and I don’t want them repeating anything you get me.” you explain to him. He looks like he’s never entered a library in his life. 

“They can’t even fucking talk yet I doubt they can understand everything I say.” 

Okay, this dude asked for it. “You’d be surprised.” You lean down slightly so the toddler is looking up at you attentively. “Hey kid, you know any bad words?” 

The toddler grins. “Cunt!” She answers. 

You shush her but make a mental note to high-five her before she leaves. 

The dude looks shocked yet impressed at the same time. 

“I’m Dave.” You say, offering him your hand to shake. 

The dude looks like he’s debating whether or not to shake your hand. “Karkat.” He finally says, shaking it. 

Weird fucking name, but then again, Rose is getting married to a girl named Kanaya. You’re used to this bullshit. 

“Are they yours?” You ask, gesturing to the toddler and the baby. 

Karkat shakes his head immediately. “I’m, uh, their nanny for the summer while their dads are in Greece.” 

“Cool.” You lean down and offer the toddler a high five. She accepts. “What’s your name, kiddo?” 

She smiles, probably glad to have such a say in this conversation. “Meenah!” She exclaims, grinning. “And I’m three!” She holds up three fingers. Her hair is black, almost as dark as Karkat’s, and tied into two braids. 

You gasp. “Oh my goodness, you’re three? You’re already such a big girl!” 

She giggles, holding her hands behind her back. She’s shy, like most kids her age, but you think you’re gonna be tight with this little dude. 

“What about the baby?” You ask, standing again and using your usual voice, not the higher-pitched one you use to talk to little kids. 

Karkat looks down at the baby in his arms. “His name’s Cronus. He’s just over a year.” 

You smile. “That’s adorable. Hey, little guy.” Cronus looks up at you and blinks, showing his blue eyes. 

“There’s coloring pages over there, in the children’s section, and some puzzles. There’s also books, uh, obviously, I guess, and you can join the summer reading program. I know they aren’t old enough to read yet, but you can always read to them, and that counts too, and also they get prizes for every five books they read -” 

You’re rambling, which is what you usually do when you meet new people, because you’re fucking socially inept. 

Karkat cuts you off. “Yeah, yeah, I get it - I can make my way around a fu - a library.” he grumbles. 

You throw your hands up in mock surrender. “Just tryna make everyone feel welcome, wow.” 

Karkat doesn’t even look sorry. “What’s up with your shades?” is all he asks, but he still sounds gruff and accusatory. 

You raise and lower your eyebrows, making the glasses wiggle. “They’re super cool.” you say, like that’s the only reason you wear sunglasses inside - which is a lie, but it’s partially the truth, kinda. 

Karkat scoffs. “They’re not cool at all. Nobody gets away with wearing sunglasses inside.” 

You stick your tongue out at him and he rolls his eyes. “So you’re just as childish as the kids you sing to?” 

Now, realistically, you could probably get this guy thrown out on the grounds of being a huge douche, but for some reason you don’t do that. He seems interesting, and the kids he’s nannying are cute. So instead of doing anything, you just say “lmao I guess” and walk away into the back room to put your guitar away. 

When you come back out, Karkat and his kids aren’t in the library anymore. Rose looks up at you pointedly from her desk, and you scowl. 

“What was that for? Dude was a total rocky road-ing cookies and cream.” You say. “Came in here all grumpy and neapolitan.” 

Rose breaks out into a grin. “It is so hard to take you seriously when you do that.”

Later, on their lunch hour in the break room, you use much more colorful words to describe the motherfucking douche-canoe you just came into contact. And Rose and John guffaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to you by the fact that i wrote half of it in the break room at the library where i actually work


	3. Karkat == > be forced to go to the library against your will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im fuckign late to work because i was working on this and lost track of time so this isnt even edited lmao here

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you enjoyed being at the library as much as people like doing their taxes. But the kids you’re fucking taking care of loved it, and they loved storytime, and they loved the asshole librarian with the shitty glasses. 

It’s been two entire days since your first meeting with asshole librarian, and Meenah is _still fucking singing_ the ‘dance little children’ song. Now you can’t get it out of your head and it’s slowly driving you mad. It’s been added to the list of lullabies you sing to Cronus while you try to put him to sleep. 

You know what you hate? You hate that asshole librarian. 

You hate that he told you to stop cursing - you’re the one who’s a nanny here, not him, and that means you can deal with the kids you’ve known since they were born - and that he turned out to be right when he got Meenah to say cunt, and that he wears fucking shades indoors like some buffoon, but most of all you hate his fucking amazing voice. 

Dude could sing. Dude had pipes. Dude’s voice sounded… really, really nice. 

Not that you would ever admit that because dude was also a huge fucking douche. 

You’re a ‘professional’ nanny, so you’re not supposed to have favorites, but right now the one who can’t talk much has a really good standing. 

“When are we going to the library?” Meenah asks you, but she still can’t pronounce ‘library,’ so it just sounds adorable. 

_Never, if you had your way._ But she really wants to go back, and Kanaya thinks it did the kids good to interact with other kids, and you’ll be honest - there’s not much to do with them, anyway. So you google the next story time, and it’s in two days. 

“The day after tomorrow, Meenah.” you say, already kissing your sanity goodbye. If you hear another children’s song you’re going to shoot your brain out. 

Meenah lights up. Fuck her for being so cute. 

You savor all of your time before you have to take them back to the library. Meenah goes around singing songs she heard in story time, Cronus claps his hands when she sings to him, and you do your best to handle two little kids while trying to get ‘Dance Little Children’ out of your fucking head. 

 

The morning you’re supposed to take the kids to the library goes the same way it usually does. You cook for them, get them dressed, and load up the stroller with all the shit you need to take them out for the morning. As soon as you get them in their double stroller - which is posh as fuck, and probably more than $500, because Eridan bought it and he’s a rich asshole - Cronus starts pulling Meenah’s hair and Meenah starts complaining. You have to pull over before you’ve even gotten off their street and put Cronus in the front so he doesn’t do any more hair pulling. 

“Can the two of you please behave yourselves long enough for story time?” you practically beg, even though only Meenah can understand you. She smiles innocently, and you shake your head. 

The library is only a twenty minute walk from Sollux’s house, which you never considered an ‘only’ until you had two kids to take care of. They really, _really_ like walks. The library has a space for strollers that they use mainly for story time, so you commandeer it inside and park it before taking Meenah and Cronus out. 

You gather Cronus in your arms - he can stand and toddle, a bit, but it’s not enough to let him roam around a library on his own - and tell Meenah she can play a bit before story time, since you’ve got fifteen minutes until it starts. She squeals with glee and runs off on her chubby little toddler legs. 

Cronus babbles in your arms, and you bounce him a little until he’s laughing. 

One-handedly, you sign into the sign-up sheet for storytime. You’re in the middle of searching for places you can stand with the baby where nobody can talk to you, when someone fucking talks to you. 

“Karkat. I didn’t think you’d be coming back.” it’s Rose fucking Lalonde, Kanaya’s fiance, the reference librarian and resident self-proclaimed psychiatrist. 

“I didn’t think so either. The kids like it.” you grumble, trying to find a way out of the conversation already. 

Rose’s lip twists up in a fucking weird way and you have a feeling you’re not going to like where she takes this conversation. “What did you think of Dave, the one I introduced you to?” 

Of course that’s where she’s taking it. 

Your eyebrows furrow and you scowl. “Look, Rose, I don’t know if it’s you or Kanaya or both of you behind this but you can go ahead and fuck off already because I’m _not interested_ in any of that bullshit, and I’m only here because the kids need something to do.” 

Rose laughs. “Well, he certainly said he enjoyed meeting you.” 

You can’t tell if she’s being truthful or not and it annoys you. “I don’t care.” You say, ignoring the fact that your ears are flushing red. 

She smirks, and you still don’t know if you should yell at her or Kanaya. So instead, you just turn around. “Leave me the fuck alone, or your smug pseudo-psychiatric mind will impair Cronus’s brain permanently.” 

Rose doesn’t say anything, but you bet she looks victorious as fuck, and you hate it. 

You boop Cronus on the nose, and he laughs. “Why don’t we go change your diaper?” You ask him, even though it doesn’t need changing, because you’d give anything to get out of this library right now. So you grab a diaper out of the stroller bag and head into the family restroom, with a happy bouncy baby on your hip. 

“I am so lucky that you’re such an easy baby, did you know that?” you ask him while you change him. He isn’t crying or anything, just laughing and grinning. 

He never really cries, or throws tantrums, or gets cranky, and you are so fucking blessed for that. When Meenah was a baby, she was a little bitch. By now she’s gotten better, thank god. Cronus is a little fucking angel. And you’re really happy about that, because you don’t really have a lot of friends, so you’re spending a lot of your time alone with this baby or with him and Meenah. He’s so well behaved. Blessed baby. 

Maybe you shouldn’t be wasting diapers because they’re expensive but hey, Eridan is rich as fuck and him and Sollux are paying all the kids’ expenses this summer, so you really don’t give a fuck. 

You check your watch, and story time is supposed to start in five minutes, so you figure you really gotta leave this bathroom, find Meenah, and sit down. 

Meenah is sitting down surrounded by what looks like an army of wooden trains. You look at her, and at all the trains. She notices you, and probably assumes you’re fully supportive of this, because she throws her arms up and shouts “I’m the queen!” 

You place your head in the hand that isn’t holding Cronus and massage your temples. 

“Heh, heck yeah you are.” Someone says to her, so you look up to see what kind of stranger is trying to talk to your technically-kid. 

It’s the fucking asshole librarian with the guitar and the shades. 

Can someone just fucking kill you, right now? Just get it over with before you have to continue this life of dealing with idiots who insist upon being good with children, more specifically your children? 

Meenah doesn’t notice that you have a vendetta against this guy, so she looks at him and starts clapping. 

“Meenah, what are you doing?” you ask, bending down in an attempt to start cleaning up some of her trains. 

“She’s the queen.” Dave, aka Asshole Librarian, says to you, as if you didn’t hear her say that. 

“I’m aware.” You grumble. 

Meenah starts showing you all of her trains. The asshole seems to be competing with you to see who can better at giving her attention. He’s ooh-ing and aah-ing at all of her trains - which aren’t even hers, she took them from the library toy basket - and you want to curse him out, but you don’t, because he’s already owned you for doing that. 

As your resolve starts to crack, you’re mercifully saved by someone saying “Dave! 10:55!” And then Dave gets up, says goodbye to Meenah, and leaves. 

Fucking asshole.  
“Okay, Meenah, let’s clean up these trains so you can get to story time, okay?” You ask her. 

She protests, of course, so you sit next to her, deposit Cronus on the floor, and start cleaning up with her (read: you do the cleaning). As soon as you’re done cleaning up after her, you gather Cronus back into your arms and grab Meenah’s hand, guiding them over to story time. 

There’s already so many children sitting there, and you want nothing more than to fucking leave. And then asshole librarian - you should really start calling him Dave, if you’re going to be seeing so much of him - walks into the area and sits down and starts strumming his guitar absentmindedly while he talks to the kids. You don’t end up leaving. 

Dave starts singing the fucking ‘dance little children’ song, and you wish you weren’t thinking about how nice his voice is. 

He’s annoying as hell and he’s arrogant as fuck, and he clearly thinks that he’s the shit. 

But he really can sing. Not that you’re going to admit that to anyone. Honestly, you don’t even want to let yourself think about it, but you can’t help it. 

The shades that Dave’s wearing are dark enough so that you can’t see his eyes. So you don’t really know where he’s looking. But you swear, at some point during ‘Playmate, come out and play with me,’ when you’re trying not to enjoy the way his voice lilts and spills from his mouth like honey, you’re certain he’s making eye contact with you, and you can’t stop the fucking awful blush that colors your entire face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my tumblr is lafayettesass hit me up !!


	4. dave == > fluster the angry dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave tries to fluster Karkat and succeeds while also failing miserably, gets a little overwhelmed, and then the beta kids are their cute selves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mental health issues are mentioned for the first time in this chapter (if yall know me, yall know i can't write a fic without mentioning those), so trigger warnings for:  
> symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, a casual mention of suicide (that is dealt with in a healthy way).   
> there's some wording in this that seems really negative towards anxiety, but it's only meant to explain how dave feels about his own anxiety, since it's in his point of view. I don't mean it to come off as offensive, since it's not meant to be taken seriously.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you might hate yourself, but you know your singing isn’t awful, and you know that the angry guy likes it. 

For someone with two little kids, he’s really easy to piss off. 

You’re in the middle of story time, playing your guitar. “Hey, hey, oh, playmate, come out and play with me, and bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree!” 

Karkat is sitting on the floor, with the baby sitting on his lap. The toddler is somewhere in the middle of the carpet dancing with the other children. Karkat isn’t looking at you or his kids, like the other parents are. Instead, he’s doing his best _not_ to look at you, and it doesn’t really look like it’s working. 

So you decide to be a dickhead. And you stare at him. 

Maybe he can’t tell that you’re looking at him. But then his entire face goes beet red. 

“Slide down my rain barr’l, into my cellar door, and we’ll be jolly friends, forever more, more, more.” 

You’re still staring at him, and he won’t meet your eyes, but you can tell he’s blushing. You wonder if he likes your voice, or if he’s just being thrown off by the fact that you’re staring at him. Not that you care at all - you just really hope he likes your voice. 

You look around to clear your head - kids are enjoying the music, parents are smiling, old crotchety patrons are probably complaining about the noise. You glance over at Rose, at the reception desk, and she’s writing something down, but there’s a sly look on her face. She’s gotta be scheming or something. Then again, she’s always scheming. 

Trying to play mind games with Rose is too exhausting, so you turn back to your group of kids, and once again stare directly at Karkat. You’ve caught him off guard - he probably didn’t think you were going to look towards him again, so this time he’s staring at you. 

You’re kind of surprised that he’s looking at you, and you try to study his gaze or something but as soon as he notices you’ve caught his attention, he looks down at the floor. Now you’re certain he was looking at you. 

“I’m sorry playmate, I cannot play with you, my dolly’s got the flu, boo hoo hoo hoo hoo-oo,” 

A smile creeps onto your lips at the thought that he’d be embarrassed about staring at you. You try to convince yourself that you don’t care, because dude is perfectly in his right to look at whatever he wants, and maybe he was just staring at you because of that argument you got into the other day, or because you’re literally the center of attention right now, not because he likes your voice or anything - 

God fucking dammit, you have got to calm down. 

Just because some guy your age walks in here with two kids who aren’t his and seems to be single - apparently he knows Rose’s fiance or some shit, and Rose introduced the two of you, so she’s probably trying to set something up - doesn’t mean you have to go crazy overthinking this shit. 

“Ain’t got no rain barr’l, ain’t got no cellar door, but we’ll be jolly friends, forever more!” 

You’re trying to get back into a rhythm that doesn’t involve staring at Karkat, but it’s _hard._ So you finish the song a little more hastily than you would’ve liked and you start reading the kids a story. 

Reading a story means you can look at the book. Which means you don’t have to look at Karkat. 

Not that you’d want to. 

But you can feel his gaze on you and you hate yourself for even allowing yourself to think about this, cause you’ve really gone and fucked up this time. 

_Come on, Dave. Focus on the story time._

So you focus on story time, and you read more books and sing more songs, all the while not looking at Karkat and trying to pretend you can’t feel his gaze on you. You’re kind of rushing, you notice, especially while you read, because you’re not asking the kids questions like you usually do (“What animal is that? Can you see it? That’s right, it’s a frog! What sound do frogs make? They ribbit! Can you ribbit with me?”), but you don’t really care. 

When story time ends, you give your usual spiel about coloring pages and upcoming events and thank everyone for coming, and then you grab your guitar and its stand and retreat to the back instead of staying and talking to the parents. 

You’re sitting in the break room, drinking water from a paper cup, your guitar still on its strap hanging around your shoulder, when John comes to find you. 

“Dave?” He asks, and you can tell he noticed something is off. Fuck best friends for knowing you so well. 

“Sup.” you answer. 

He sits in the chair across from you. “Is everything okay?” 

You nod. “Got overwhelmed for a second there, is all.” 

“Panic attack?” 

You shake your head. “Everything was happening so much, and I had to leave so I didn’t freak out.” 

“Do you need anything?” John asks.

“I’m okay.” You respond, but you should’ve known he wouldn’t listen to you, because he immediately gets up and sets up water for tea. 

John hands you the tea, and you take it gratefully, because John is _really good at tea._ You’re in the middle of a sip when he tells you, “Uh, that angry dude was looking for you or something. I don’t know what it means, but I heard him ask Aradia where you were. Rose seemed to think it was reeeeeeeeally funny.” 

You almost spit out your fucking tea. 

“He was looking for me?” 

“Yeah. I think. He kept asking where you were.” 

“Amazing,” you grumble. 

John cocks his head to the side. “Are you okay? Is something up?” 

“I’m fine, really, nothing’s up. The angry dude is just annoying as shit.” You say, and you hope it’s enough to deflect the question entirely. 

He doesn’t look convinced, and you can tell he wants to keep pressing you, but he drops it - either because he’s concerned about your freak-out or he doesn’t want to get you upset with him. 

 

The rest of the morning and early afternoon isn’t horribly eventful. Karkat doesn’t come back to the library - you thought that he might, if he was looking for you - and thankfully nobody has brought him up. You take your lunch with Rose and Jade, the cataloguing manager.

“Dave, you’re a pretentious shit.” Jade tells you as you pull out your lunch. 

“Harley, this shit is the bomb.” Your lunch is a Za’atar chicken and lemon tahini salad from Starbucks, because it’s really close to the library and you fucking love their salads. 

She rolls her eyes and continues eating her Nutella sandwich. 

Rose is writing notes on the month’s calendar, so you smack her hand away while Jade grabs the calendar out from under her. “Not fair.” Rose announces. 

“Rose, this is _lunch time._ Not the time for you to make up for all the organizing you didn’t do. Chillax.” You tell her. 

Everyone thinks Rose is organized, but she’s one of the messiest people you’ve ever come into contact with. She was supposed to organize a therapy dog coming to the library, but nobody reminded her, so she forgot, and now you have to do it really soon, because the program is next week. This clusterfuck prompted her to actually pay attention to the fucking calendar. 

She rolls her eyes. 

“Did either of you book the dog?” Jade asks. 

You and Rose both shake your heads. 

“But there’s gonna be a dog, right?” 

“I really fuckin’ hope so.” You say. “I got kiddos looking forward to this shit.” 

Jade grins. “Hell yeah. Puppy.” 

“Jade, the last time we had a service animal here it was a huge collie and you called it a puppy so much that the handler corrected you.” Rose points out. 

“All. Dogs. Are. Puppies.” Jade announces. 

“I really can’t argue with that,” you say, gesturing to her. 

A strange noise erupts from the back desk. Upon further inspection, it’s John’s exclamation of dismay. He’s entering new books into the online system. 

“Everything okay in there, sport?” You ask. 

John whines again. “God fucking dammi - I’m gonna fucking kill myself!” 

“ _John._ ” All three of you scold that at almost the same time. “What are we working on?” 

He appears in the doorway of the kitchen-slash-break-room. His hair is messy, probably because his hand was in it out of frustration, and he heaves a sigh. “Positive self-talk,” he drones, like a little kid. 

“Exactly. And what was that?” Jade asks. 

“Not positive self-talk.” John answers. 

Jade raises her eyebrow at him until he gives in and says, “I can do it, and I can do it right.” 

You, Rose, and Jade all grin. “That’s more like it.” 

John rolls his eyes. 

“John, if you’re just doing it to placate us, we’re gonna make you say it until you mean it.” You inform him, which is true.

“Fine.” John says. “I know I can do it. It’s just difficult and it’s giving me a hard time and I don’t like the library system’s website. But I can do it.” 

You nod. “Okay. Why don’t you take a break for a second?” 

John sits down, and as soon as he does Jade ruffles his hair. “ _Ja-ade!_ ” 

She giggles. “Come on, I had to get you to laugh a little bit.” 

Sure enough, he’s laughing. 

Rose flips a water bottle towards him, because she insists it’s better than just handing water bottles to people. It doesn’t even land - it never does - but John catches it mid-fall. “Rose, your bottle flipping skills are so lackluster.” He says, drinking from it anyway. 

She rebuts by flipping her juice box - the fridge is always stocked with at least one case of juice boxes - but forgets that it’s fucking open, so sticky-ass juice spills all over the table and the floor. 

 

“Fuck.” 

Jade squeals as some of the juice drips onto her pants. 

You and John have devolved into hysterical laughter.

You fucking love these dorks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song dave sings in this chapter is called "playmate, come out and play with me". there's some debate about what the right lyrics are, but this is how we sing it at my library.


	5. karkat == > try to confront kanaya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a night of, like... realizing things

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you’ve been trying to come to terms with the fact that the asshole librarian is hot for a few weeks now, which is kind of hard when he’s also a huge weirdo. You’re also trying to care for two small children, which is kind of hard because they’re two small children. 

You’re fairly confident with your choice in friends, but you know the only reason you’re dealing with Dave is Kanaya. Well, some combination of Kanaya and her librarian fiance. 

And you’re going to get to the bottom of it. 

Kanaya calls when you’re in the middle of reading a bedtime story to the kids (you’re reading aloud to them because that counts for their reading logs, which you’ve signed them up for, and if they “read” five books, they get a prize at the library. The whole thing works out pretty well, because the kids love getting prizes and you… take them to the library a lot). So you let the phone keep ringing until it stops, finish the book, and tuck them in. 

Cronus, for _once_ , is easy to put down, and you almost start praying right on the spot. Meenah is a little more difficult, though, because she’s got questions for you. 

“How come you’re reading to us now?” Meenah asks, her head tilted to the side the way it does when she asks a question. 

You smile softly. “Because it’s good for your brains.” you tell her. 

“But you never used to until we went to the library.” 

“Yeah, but now we go to storytime, so I can pick out books for you guys.” 

Meenah doesn’t seem convinced. “Are you friends with Dave now?” she asks. 

How the fuck does she already know his name? 

You nod. “Yes, Dave is my friend,” you fucking lie, because it’s easier to say that everyone you talk to is your friend because kids are simple. 

She smiles. “Good. You both smile around each other.” 

You know for a fact you have never smiled around Dave. 

And now even a _toddler_ is trying to meddle with your love life - or apparent lack thereof. 

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight, Meenah.” 

She protests bedtime for a few minutes, and you have to tuck her in again, but eventually she settles down. You kiss her forehead - _you promised yourself you wouldn’t love these kids_ \- and say goodnight, shutting off the light so only the nightlight lights up their room. 

Then you call Kanaya back. 

“Karkat? I was beginning to think you fell asleep.” She says. 

“I was putting the kids to sleep,” you answer. “What happened?” 

Kanaya tuts. “Can’t I just call you to say hi without being judged for it?” 

“Yeah, you can, but you never call me this late. What do you want?” you’re starting to get pissy. 

“Karkat, it’s 7 in the evening.” 

You sigh. “What do you want.” 

“I was wondering if you’d like to come over Friday night, for movies and dinner, with Rose and I. Like we used to do.” You can hear the fucking smile in her voice. 

You’re about to ask about the kids, when she cuts you off. “Yes, the kids can come.” 

You hesitate momentarily before deciding that Kanaya’s going to get you to go to this thing no matter how much you protest. “Okay, fine. I’ll go. The kids are coming.” 

“Karkat, please, it won’t be that ba - oh. You agreed. Okay, excellent.” Kanaya bores you with information about what time you should be at her house, and what movies they want to watch, and what snacks she’s going to have. You only pay attention when she asks you what the kids are going to need. 

You can feel Kanaya’s smug glee through the phone. “Excellent! I’ll see you tomorrow, Karkat.” 

“Uh-huh, bye.” you hang up and wonder what she’s gotten you into. 

You’re already trying to figure out how you’re going to get the kids to go. You can’t leave them alone, of course, so you’ll have to bring them with you, but the movie night starts at six, and you usually put the kids to bed at seven. So you’re going to have to put them to sleep at Kanaya’s, which you hope isn’t a problem for them, and then bring them home and pray they don’t wake up. You’re also going to have to bring the entire fucking pack and play with you. 

It’s fine. You love Kanaya, and she’s your best friend, and you haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with her since taking up this whole nannying thing. And taking the kids out at night shouldn’t be too bad. 

 

Friday evening comes way too quickly for your liking. 

You’re fifteen minutes late to Kanaya’s because Cronus wouldn’t stop crying, but you’re finally at the fucking doorstep, Cronus in your arms and Meenah standing beside you. She’s tired and annoyed because it’s past her bedtime, but by the grace of God she’s still cooperating (for the most part). They’re both used to sleeping at their own home, so a sleepover at someone else’s house isn’t exactly something they’re thrilled about. 

Kanaya opens the door. “Karkat!” 

She doesn’t mention that you’re late, but that’s probably only because you look like you’re about to kill someone. 

“Hey, Cronus. Hey, Meenah.” She bends down to say hello to them. 

“Hi ‘Naya.” Meenah replies, old enough to remember her. 

The kids have seen her a decent amount of times, you think. She hates Eridan, but Rose likes him, and Kanaya is close friends with Sollux, so they’ve taken the kids to see her before (surprisingly, Kanaya and Eridan have only gotten into one fistfight during these visits). So you send the kids in with her and go back into the car to grab the pack and play, which is heavy as shit and barely fits in your car. 

By the time you wrestle the little shit into Kanaya’s place, both of the kids are sitting on the couch, Meenah chowing down on goldfish as if you didn’t just feed her dinner, Cronus biting on some teething toy that Kanaya must’ve had on hand. 

Rose is sitting across from them, watching with almost rapt attention. “Hey Karkat.” 

“Good evening both of you, thanks for making me come out here with two crankpots, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Now are we here to watch movies or what.” You say, pulling off your shoes and sitting on the couch. 

“That’s the plan, yes.” Kanaya gestures to a pile of DVDs. You inspect them. 

_The Emperor’s New Groove, Wreck-It Ralph,_ and _Despicable Me_ are placed on the table. 

“What is this shit?” You ask. 

“They’re kids movies. You know, for the kids.” Rose responds. “I’d recommend _The Emperor’s New Groove_ because the other ones are pretty bad.” 

You look at her like she’s crazy. “Where the fuck is _Miss Congeniality_? _Mamma Mia_? _How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days_? These movies look like shit!” 

“You can’t make little kids watch rom coms all the time. They need to watch kids movies at least sometimes.” 

“Uh, I’m starting them early!” You argue. “Besides, they have to go to bed soon anyway. So, _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_?” 

You end up watching the stupid llama movie because Rose and Kanaya think they know more about raising children than you do. At seven, you set up the pack and play in the guest bedroom and put the kids down. Just as you get Meenah sleeping, you’re about to come out and force Rose and Kanaya to watch _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_ when - 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Rose smiles innocently. “What? The kids went to bed, we can watch adult stuff now.” 

“ _Lord of the Rings_?” 

Kanaya is laughing hysterically, her hand covering her mouth, like she thinks this shit is gold. 

“Fuck both of you.” You sit down on the couch and begrudgingly, against your will, sit still through the first half of the movie. 

Then Rose pauses it and goes to the kitchen to grab popcorn and booze. “Karky, you want some alcohol?” 

“God, please - between this movie and the kids I’m already dead.” You say, before realizing - “What the fuck don’t call me Karky!” 

She returns with three glasses of some alcoholic beverage and a bag of popcorn. You take your glass and you’re two sips in before you realize it’s vodka with a teeny tiny bit of cranberry juice. Should you be drinking when the kids are going to wake you up at least three times tonight? No. Are you going to? Fuck yes. 

By the end of the movie, you’re all more than a little tipsy. You convince Kanaya to put in _Miss Congeniality._

Rose interrupts your blissful rom-com-and-vodka peace with a question about 20 minutes in. “Oh shit Karkat I forgot to ask you something.” 

“Well, ask away.” The only reason you don’t pause the movie is because you’ve seen it more times than you can count. 

“What do you think of Dave?” 

“What.” 

Now Kanaya chimes in. “You know, Dave, the librarian who does story time.” 

“Yes, I know who he is. I know you’re trying to set me up with him, and for the record I have no desire to get with him. So please stop shoving me into his face. I have two small children to take care of, and I don’t need a boyfriend, fucking hell.” You say but it probably comes out much less eloquent than you intended it to. 

“Come on, Karkat, give him a chance.” Kanaya says. “He’s attractive, and he’s good with kids - he’s like a puppy.” 

“I don’t want a puppy - because you get a puppy and they’re adorable and you want to be with them all the time and they make you so happy, but then you forget to feed them or walk them or - fuck I forgot where this metaphor is going but basically no matter what happens I’m gonna kill the dog and then I’m gonna hate myself for it.” you explain. 

“So you’d consider a relationship with him.” Rose says. Dick.

“Stop trying to deduce me or some shit! I never asked to be set up with anyone, and he’s hot and good with kids but that’s it!” 

Kanaya laughs. 

You continue. “If he wasn’t such a fucking dick I guess I’d consider it, but he acts like he’s all above it all and he really seems to like making me flustered and it’s quite frankly annoying how adorable it is.” 

Both Kanaya and Rose are silent, but your mouth is a motorboat and you’re an idiot and you’re not stopping. 

“So I guess maybe if he wasn’t so totally out of my league and I wasn’t so deep in my pit of self loathing that I could actually think someone is capable of liking me, then I would consider it. But not right now because fuck that.” You say. You finish the rest of your drink. 

You don’t even fucking realize what you said until twenty minutes later. “Oh fuck.” you say. 

Kanaya nods. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I just need more vodka.” 

Rose responds by handing you the bottle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uploading this from a best western and man this wifi is speedy. also the free coffee here is good as shit


	6. dave == > do everything last minute

Your name is Dave Strider, and you’re a piece of shit and you hate yourself. 

Terezi, the director of your library, called you like two hours ago asking for the headcounts for all your summer storytimes. That’s three fucking months of storytimes. And because you’re an idiot, you haven’t been keeping track. 

Also you need the papers with the headcounts by tomorrow. 

Which is why it’s one in the fucking morning and you’re on the floor of your room, surrounded by the contents of your entire desk. You haven’t gone through that shit since you moved in, and now your floor is covered in papers. You found some essays from fucking high school, but you know what you didn’t find?

That’s right. The fucking headcounts. 

You spend about five minutes thinking about how dead you are and wondering if you should just make up the goddamn numbers when you remember that you could always just… call Rose. 

Right. You’ll just call Rose, she probably has them. And if she doesn’t, John or Aradia might. 

Rose answers on the third ring. “Davey!” she exclaims, maybe too excited. 

“You’re drunk.” You reply. 

“Not drunk just _tipsy_ ,” Rose corrects you. 

“Okay, right, well, I have to get all the headcounts from storytime to Terezi by lunch tomorrow, and I don’t have them, and I was wondering if you did.” 

“Dave, it’s like, one in the morning.” Rose replies. 

You nod. “I know. Do you have them?” 

Someone from Rose’s end of the line starts talking. “Rose, tell whoever the fuck you’re on the phone with that they’re interrupting Sharknado!” 

“Is that Karkat?” 

“Aww, Dave, you can recognize his voice, how gay and adorable.” Rose says, and you can’t even tell if she’s kidding. 

You don’t answer for a second on account of how embarrassed you are that Karkat just heard Rose say that. 

“Rose do you have the headcounts or not.” you deadpan. 

She sighs, as if getting you three pieces of paper at most is an arduous task. “Yes, I do, they’re in my kitchen. Do you want me to bring them tomorrow?” 

See, this is the part where any normal person would say ‘sure’ and just let her bring the headcounts to work in the morning. 

Regrettably, you are not a normal person. 

“No, no, it’s fine, I’ll just come get them.” 

You really wish your trust issues weren’t so bad that you don’t even trust your best friend with some fucking pieces of paper. You really wish that you didn’t just say yes to leaving your house at 1 in the morning to get said pieces of paper. And you really wish that you weren’t thinking about seeing Karkat on Rose’s couch watching Sharknado, probably in his pajamas - 

“You’re going to come get them.” You can _hear_ Rose’s eyebrow raise. “Right now.” 

“Uh huh.” 

God, you are such a dumbass. 

“I’ll be there in twenty bye Rose see ya soon say hi to Karkat.” You hang up. 

You drop your phone onto the floor and run your fingers through your hair while you think about how much of a fuckup you’re being right now. Then, after your allotted two minutes of self loathing, you stand and get dressed. 

And if you spend a little too long getting dressed, it’s definitely just because it’s late and you’re tired, and not because you care about impressing… someone. 

You do your hair, even though you usually wouldn’t if you were just visiting Rose and Kanaya. But it’s _fine,_ you’re just trying to look put-together. 

You also wash your face (again), clean your shades, and color-coordinate your shoes with your shirt before you leave. 

Rose and Kanaya’s house isn’t that far from yours - maybe, like, ten or fifteen minutes away - but it sure feels like a while. You wonder just how drunk the three of them are, and finally decide not to think about it. Rose and Kanaya love movie nights, so they probably have everything under control. You aren’t really sure why Karkat’s there, not that you care. 

When you knock on the door, nobody answers. So you try the door, and, sure enough, it’s unlocked. You let yourself in. 

“‘Mornin, everybody.” 

Rose looks up at you and shushes you. “The _babies_ are _sleeping._ ” 

“Babies?” 

“Yeah, all three of them.” 

You look at her, confused. 

“Eridan’s kids and Kanaya.” She clarifies. 

You vaguely remember her mentioning some guy named Eridan like, a really long time ago, so you just let it go. Then you look at the couch and sure enough, Kanaya is curled up sleeping next to Rose like a cat. 

Karkat is also on the couch. He’s perched at the end of it, vapidly watching whatever movie is on the screen (it’s now Sharknado 2). 

“Sup, Karkat.” 

He turns around to look at you, and maybe you weren’t expecting him to look like that. 

His hair isn’t brushed or styled at all, and it’s big and curly and fluffy and sticking up in impossible directions, and it’s out of his face so you can finally get a good look at his eyes. They’re big and brown and watching you with the same rapt attention he was giving to the television. There’s a bright red blush coloring both of his cheeks, and you tell yourself it’s just from the drinking. He isn’t scowling, for once, and his mouth is slightly open and you never really appreciated his lips before, not that you are now, or anything. He’s also wearing pajamas, which entails a big yellow t-shirt bearing the words “I’M A RAY OF FUCKING SUNSHINE” and fluffy pink pajama pants. 

Karkat’s making eye contact with you, and you start to realize that neither of you are looking away. You look down before he can notice the bright red blush that’s gonna be all over your face in like three seconds. 

“Okay, whatever. You got the stuff?” 

Rose rolls her eyes. “If by ‘stuff’ you mean ‘headcounts’, then yes.” 

“Where is it?” 

“Kitchen table, in the pile of papers.” 

It turns out Rose really meant _pile of papers_ because it takes you ten fucking minutes just to find the two pieces of paper where she has all the headcounts. Then you go over them and they all seem accurate, so you take pictures with your phone and text them to Terezi. 

She responds almost immediately. 

Terezi: Dave it’s like one in the morning???? 

Dave: listen i got you the headcounts ur welcome

You walk back into the living room, and you’re grabbing the door handle to let yourself out when Rose objects. 

“Daveee, are you really just gonna come in here for paperwork and leave?” Rose asks, flinging her arm over the couch. 

“Yes, that’s the plan. It’s late.” You say, pocketing your phone as you open the door. 

Karkat pouts. “Come on, Dave, at least watch a little Sharknado.” 

“Y’know, Rose, we have to be at work tomorrow.” 

“Yes, Dave, I know. But Sharknado’s on.” 

“Dave. Sharknado is a cinematic masterpiece.” Karkat says. 

You know resistance is futile, especially when Karkat wants you to stay. 

So you sigh and shut the door. “Alright, fine. Only until the end of this movie.” 

You sit down on the couch, next to Karkat - not because you want to, just because Rose and Kanaya are taking up the rest of the couch. Karkat doesn’t move away from you, but he doesn’t move towards you either. 

Sharknado 2 is just as bad - if not worse than - the first Sharknado, and you suspect Rose and Karkat are getting much more enjoyment from the movie than you are, likely because they’re fucking drunk. By the time Sharknado 2 finishes, it’s way too late to go home, especially since you have to get up for work in, like, 4 hours, so you lie to Rose that you’re going to the bathroom and walk into the guest bedroom to take a nap. 

There’s a giant pack and play right next to the door, and when you squint you can see that’s where Meenah and Cronus are sleeping. So you sneak past them as to not wake them up, pull your shoes off, and practically collapse on the guest bed. Bless Rose and Kanaya for having a guest bedroom. 

You don’t remember falling asleep - hell, you don’t even take off your shades - but then you wake up. You check your phone - it’s 4:30, you must’ve slept for what, an hour and a half? You’re about to go the fuck back to sleep when you remember you’re in Rose’s house and she’s probably still watching shitty movies on her couch. 

So you leave the guest bedroom to check on her. 

Rose and Kanaya aren’t on the couch anymore - they probably went into their actual bedroom - but the television is still on and Karkat is sleeping sitting up. You don’t want to just _leave_ him there. He’s probably not comfortable and you don’t want him to wake up with some sort of weird cramp. You decide to wake him up. 

“Hey, Karkat.” You say, softly, as you touch his arm. 

He doesn’t get up, so you continue kind of lightly shaking him. 

“What the fuck…?” Karkat mumbles as he wakes up. He looks into your eyes, confused. 

You forgot what you were about to say. Shit. 

Oh yeah- 

“Uh, you fell asleep on the couch. There’s, uh, there’s a guest bedroom, that you can sleep in, where there’s an actual bed, and I just think that’s better, like, for your quality of sleep, you know.” The words fall out of your mouth like you’re some kind of stupid idiot. 

He nods, and pushes himself into a sitting position. He looks drowsy and he’s already got bedhead. 

“Fuck, an actual bed sounds nice.” 

Karkat, disoriented, gets his bearings and stands. You straighten yourself out and dust your clothes off in case they look weird and also fix your hair. 

“Are the kids okay?” Karkat asks, suddenly sounding concerned. 

You smile. “Yes, they’re fine, I checked on them. They’re in the pack and play, which is in the guest bedroom. Sound asleep.” 

Karkat gives you a sleepy thumbs up. “Superb.” He runs a hand through his hair and staggers toward the guest bedroom. “Goodnight, Dave.” 

“Night, Karkat.” 

He leaves, and you just stand there in the middle of Rose’s living room, and then you realize there’s a huge dopey smile on your face. 

You don’t realize that you literally gave your bed up to Karkat until after he goes into the guest bedroom. Oops. You were so fucking concerned with being chivalrous or whatever that you didn’t think about how you were, like, sleeping there. 

Well, at least he’ll be comfortable. You want him to be comfortable. 

You sit on the couch while you try to decide if you should sleep on it or just leave, but it’s hard to think straight when it’s like 4:30 and you can’t think about anything except the way Karkat looks when he’s sleepy and his face and his hair and the way he _blushes_ and - 

Oh my God, you’re such an idiot. 

Dave: John. 

Dave: John I have made a mistake

Dave: I’m a fucking idiot.


	7. dave == > revel at how much of a mess you're in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Dave Strider, and you have just literally spent half an hour standing in Rose’s living room like a complete imbecile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enter long waffle here about how hard school is and how im really sorry i havent posted in a while but im going to try to be more consistent

Your name is Dave Strider, and you have just literally spent half an hour standing in Rose’s living room like a complete imbecile. 

John doesn’t answer your text - and of course he doesn’t, because it’s ridiculously fucking early in the morning. You didn’t, like, expect him to answer you, but you were still hoping for it. You’re in need of some choice advice from as choice bro. 

_10 Things I Hate About You_ is playing on the television. You’re staring at it without actually paying attention, as it’s so early you feel like you’ve traveled into the fifth fucking dimension. 

When the clock strikes 5am, you give up on trying to go back to sleep. You grab the headcount papers you left on the kitchen table, fold them up, and pocket them, just in case you’re going to need them again. Your keys are on the table next to the door, and you’re about to leave the house when you look down and realize you’re barefoot. 

Oh my god, your fucking shoes are in the guest room and Karkat’s fucking sleeping. You’ve already made a big enough fool of yourself, so you’re not about to go all the way back into the guest room and risk waking up Karkat just to get your shoes. You end up sliding on Rose’s hot pink crocs that are, like, a size and a half too big for you and then you leave. 

“I’m such an idiot.” You say, out loud, to yourself, in your car. 

By the time you’ve pulled out of the driveway, you already know that you aren’t going to go back home. You’re too jittery to walk around your fucking apartment for a few hours before work. So, like any insane idiot, you drive to the library. 

“ _Hey Siiiiiiiiriiiii,” you announce to your phone, but Siri doesn’t seem to be in the mood to recognize your whining._

You sigh and pull over so you can text Jade. Don’t text and drive, kids. 

Dave: hey harley you up 

Jade replies immediately. You usually can’t stand people who wake up before the sunrise, but she has admittedly grown on you. 

_Jade: of course I’m awake!_

Jade: what’s wrong? 

Jade: you usually aren’t up so early, did something happen? 

Dave: Jade I am a complete fucking imbecil. 

Jade: well duh, i knew that 

Jade: but seriously, what did you do? 

Dave: uhh i’ll tell you when you get to the library 

Dave: I’m headed there now 

Jade: Dave it is literally 5 o’clock in the morning 

Dave: yes I know how to tell time 

Dave: anyway harley get your ass to the library cause we got a feelings jam to have 

Jade: Dave !! What happened?? 

Jade: are you dating karkat? 

Dave: WHAT NO 

Jade: hahah do you like karkat? 

Dave: OF COURSE NOT 

Jade: sure thing :P 

Jade: see you at the library! 

You put your phone down and get back to business driving to the library. The lights are off when you get there, of course, because you’re the first person there and it’s 5 o’clock in the morning. Thank god Terezi finally trusts you enough to give you a key. You unlock the library and disarm the alarm and also turn the heat on because _fuck, it’s cold._

You don’t even realize that there’s nothing to do until you’re sitting at the circulation desk with all the lights on. Then it sets in that the library opens in four and a half hours and you’re here alone. 

Well, you guess you’ll just run the holds. 

Five minutes later, you’re looking for some book called _The Soccer Mom’s Cookbook_ when the door to the library opens. You almost lose your shit. 

“Dave!” _Oh my god, it’s fucking Harley._

“Jade, you scared the actual shit out of me.” you announce, surfacing from the nonfiction section. 

Jade is standing in the doorway holding a basket that’s overflowing with what looks like a blanket but might just be a dog bed for her service dog, Bec, who’s almost as big as you are and whiter than suburbia. Said dog is next to her, smiling and thumping his tail on the carpeted floor. 

“Yeah, and you scared the absolute fuck out of me!” Jade says, walking over to you, Bec following. “Okay, Dave, tell me what’s wrong and let me fix it.” 

Your shoulders sag, and you let the book you’re holding - _Along Came A Spider_ \- drop to the floor. Bec comes up to you and paws at your hand until you pet him. 

“So maybe I like Karkat? But only maybe, I’m not really sure, please don’t make a big deal out of it, it’s not like I want to take him for a ride on the roller coaster of relationship-” 

“Dave.” 

“because the roller coaster of relationship ends way too quickly and I don’t want to fuck anything up with him because he totally doesn’t deserve that, like, at all, and I can’t fuck him up because he’s too good to be-” 

“Dave.” 

“fucked up and he has _kids,_ -” 

“Dave!” Jade says, finally getting you to stop. You look at her. 

“How are you feeling about it?” 

You hang your head. “I don’t know.” 

You haven’t really had time to think about it. 

Jade claps you on the shoulder. “You sound like you need some coffee.” 

“Jade, there isn’t enough coffee in this entire-ass library for me.” 

“We can go to Starbucks.” 

“It’s 5 in the morning, they aren't fucking open!" 

Jade looks at you like you’re a complete fucking imbecile. “Yeah, and we’re going to knock on the door and then they’re going to give us free coffee.” 

“Do you just get free coffee from Starbucks all the time?” You ask, incredulous. 

She rolls her eyes at you. “Dave. I flirt with the manager. She gives me free coffee and I let her come in the back and raid the fridge. It’s glorious.” 

You shake your head. “You’re fuckin wild, Harley. Now let’s get some free 5am coffee.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do you think the girl jade was talking about is??? 
> 
> my tumblr is lafayettesass if you wanna say hi or if youre also taking ap chem and/or apush and want to cry with me about how tragic AP classes are


	8. Karkat == > wake up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see! junior year is kicking my ass. I havent given up on this story tho

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and the amount of times you’ve woken up in a bed that isn’t familiar is very low. But this morning is one of those times, you guess, because why wouldn’t it be? 

Meenah wakes you up with her calling for you, and you feel around for your phone but you can’t find it. So you have no idea what time it is, no idea what bed you’re in, and no idea why these kids are with you. The only thing you _do_ know is that your head is pounding, most likely courtesy of all the drinking you did last night. 

“Meenah, I’m coming, good morning.” The sun is filtering in through the curtains - green curtains, ew - so you assume it’s got to be morning. Meenah reaches up for you and you take her out of the pack and play. 

“Karkat, where are we?” She asks you, and you feel bad that you literally don’t know the answer to her question. 

You wrack your brain and vaguely remember going to Kanaya’s house, so that must be where the fuck you are. “We’re at Kanaya’s.” you answer her, with more certainty than you thought you could muster. 

“I’m hungry.” She says. 

You lift her out of the pack and play, trying to comb through her hair with your fingers - it’s a knotty mess regardless. “You want to go find some breakfast?” 

She nods. “Do they have fish pancakes here?” 

She looks at you expectantly, and you grin. “I hope they do.” You say. “Should we go find out?” 

Meenah seems to take this as a very serious mission, because she looks at you with her face set in stone and holds out her hand for you to take it. You open the door and lead her out. 

“Kanaya? Rose?” you call, walking into the living room. 

Rose is sitting on the now-pristinely cleaned couch, doing her makeup while the news plays in the background. “Good morning, Karkat.” She says, nonchalant as always. 

“Where’s Dave?” Is the first thing out of your mouth, causing you to cringe and Rose to lift an eyebrow. Your face flushes with embarrassment, but the question’s already out there. 

“I don’t know. He must’ve left at some point last night.” She says. “How much do you remember about last night?” 

You roll your eyes. You consider lying and telling Rose that you don’t remember accidentally almost admitting that you have feelings for Dave, but it would be an effort in futility. “Enough,” you say instead. Rose nods. “What time is it?” you ask, because subject changes are blessings. 

“Like, 9:15?” Rose says, glancing at the clock. “Kanaya already left for work, I have a little over an hour before I have to be at the library.” 

“Do you have pancake mix?” 

Rose and Kanaya do not, in fact, have pancake mix. They do have pancake-making ingredients, though, and Meenah is in a good enough mood to sit up on the counter and watch Rose help you make pancake batter. You leave to wake Cronus, who has slept for a miraculously long time, up. 

Cronus is cranky because he’s in an unfamiliar place, like you knew he would be, so you sit in the guest bedroom and try to calm him down. You can hear Meenah’s laugher and bemused noises from Rose coming from the kitchen, and you smile. 

You almost hate how much you love this job. 

“C’mon, Cronus, we’re going to the kitchen.” you say, lifting him up and walking with him to the kitchen. Meenah’s face is only half covered in pancake batter, and Rose seems to be a better pancake batter artist than you, because her pancakes actually look like fish. 

“Karkat, you suck at drawing pancakes.” Meenah informs you. As if you didn’t already know this. 

“Meenah, we don’t use that word.” You remind her gently. 

She sticks her tongue out at you. 

Rose, with a watchful eye on the stove, flips over another pancake to reveal a golden-brown portrait of a fish, complete with eyes and scales. Showoff. “Pancakes, Karkat?” she asks. 

“Uh, yeah. Have you got coffee?” 

“Please don’t tell me you feed the children coffee.” Rose says, like she wouldn’t put it past you. She points to a Keurig on the other side of the counter, and you reach for it like your life depends on it. 

You roll your eyes. “Come on, Rose, I’m not that bad at nannying. I’m waiting until they’re in middle school before they get addicted to caffeine.” 

“Do not get Eridan’s children addicted to caffeine.” Rose warns. 

There’s a shelf of Keurig K-cups next to the machine, but most of them are tea and hot chocolate, and it takes you a while to find some good old-fashioned dark roast. But you do find it, popping it into the machine, as Rose slides you a mug across the counter. “It’s the working world’s addiction, Rose.” You tell her. 

Rose flips another pancake onto a plate. “I’m beginning to think you’re not qualified for this job.” 

“ _I’m_ beginning to think you’re nosy.” 

She hands Meenah a plate with pancakes on it. “There’s syrup in the fridge.” Rose says as Meenah takes the plate, grinning. 

You end up helping Rose plate the rest of the pancakes. She carries them into the living room, and the four of you have a very pleasant continental breakfast, the news still on in the background. Cronus sits in your lap, and Meenah sits next to Rose, and Rose continues to banter with you the whole time. You almost let yourself wish Dave was with you, but you shut that thought down very quickly. 

Rose stands at a quarter to 10:30. “Alright, Karkat, I’ve got to get going.” She says. “It was nice having you around, though. I do hope the drinks last night weren’t too much.” 

“Thanks for having us.” You respond, and you’re surprised at your own civility. “Come on, Meenah, let’s go clean up the pack and play.” 

She obliges, and “helps” you clean it up. You wrestle the beast into your car, refusing help from Rose. When you’re doing your last sweep of the guest room to make sure you haven’t left anything behind, you see Dave’s boots. 

“Dave left his boots here.” You say as you walk out of the room, Dave’s boots and a pacifier in hand. 

Rose holds out a hand. “Give them to me, I’m seeing him at work.” 

Suddenly you’re protective of them. And, if you’ve got Dave’s shoes, then you’ve got a reason to go to the library. You’re already thinking about handing Dave his boots, or maybe Dave inviting you into the back so you can give them to him, just the two of you in his break room - 

“No.” Her smirk tells you that you’ve answered her too fast. “I mean. I’m already going to the library with the kids today. I can give them to him.” 

She looks like she might want to fight you on this, but drops it. “Okay.” She smiles. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.” 

You nod at her, adding the boots to your baby bag and slinging it over your shoulder, Cronus balanced in the other hand and Meenah at your side. “See you later.” 

She shuts the door behind you, and you think about the stupid boots and how Dave looked last night with bedhead and the gentle way he woke you up, and about how if you had a spare hand right now you’d facepalm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess my thing is talking about which libraries i write in so this was mostly written in the big NYC public library with the lions outside of it (the schwarzman building) cool


	9. Dave == > receive the shoes

Your name is Dave, and it’s already ten in the morning but Harley won’t stop throwing you pitiful looks every time she sees you. 

You’re going to kill her. 

“Hi Dave,” She says, more saccharine than usual, as she approaches you and your guitar. 

You offer her a mock salute. “Sup, Harley.” 

“Are you feeling okay?” 

It’s still just the two of you and Bec at the library. Only the break room light is on, and the break room table is littered with a quite frankly shame-inducing amount of empty Starbucks cups. The manager at Starbucks must really think Jade is cute - either that or she thought you were outright pitiful - because she’s continuously supplied you both with whatever caffeine you need. Nobody else has arrived at the library yet, but you suspect that when they do you’re going to have to get rid of the evidence to spare Nepeta from letting all of her coffee go for free. 

“Yes, I am.” You say, your shoulders sagging. 

The feelings jam you had with Jade was… surprisingly awful. You had sat down at a table in the back of Starbucks, sipping free grande pike roasts, while Nepeta moved around in the back room, making a lot of noise either because she’s clumsy or to let you know that she’s not listening. 

You had almost cried (emphasis on almost, and big shoutout to your shades for hiding the tears that almost welled up in your eyes) but you didn’t, and Jade had tried to get you to admit that you have feelings for Karkat - you _almost_ did, but stopped just short of saying you liked him. But you both know the real answer. 

Bec sat between the two of you on the floor of the Starbucks, and when you got really upset he would come over and lay his head on your knee. A perfect boy, really. 

Jade promised you she’d drop it when you got to the library, but you can feel her giving you looks when you go through the book drop as soon as the two of you get back. Something tells you she isn’t going to leave you alone until this is somehow resolved. 

She doesn’t get up from her chair across from you, and you pretend not to acknowledge her, acting like you need to tune your guitar again as if it isn’t perfectly tuned. 

Neither of you speak until the door to the library opens. 

“Good morning, Jade!” Someone calls - John. 

Jade swipes all of the empty coffee cups off the table and into the trash can in one fell swoop. “Morning!” She calls. She stands, and you just sit there, gaping at her like you’ve forgotten how to be a human. Jade beckons you forward, rolling her eyes, and you stand, sulking over to her. 

“I’m usually not here early I don’t want him to think something’s up,” You whisper into Jade’s ear, which you have to tiptoe to reach. 

Jade rolls her eyes. “But something _is_ up.”

“Fine.” 

You skulk out of the break room behind her, Bec trotting at your side. 

“Hi, Bec!” John greets, putting his bag down at his side so he can bend down and pet the fluffy monster. “Dave?” He asks, more of a question than a greeting. 

“Morning, John.” You say, putting your hand up in mock-salute. 

“You’re here early.” He comments. “Is everything okay? What happened last night, I got your texts-” 

“I’m okay, John.” You cut him off. “Really, I promise. Harley even brought the dog to make sure I was okie-dokie.” 

John doesn’t look convinced, but Jade must shoot him a look that tells him to drop it, because he does. 

You don’t have to answer any questions until Rose walks in the door a little after 10:30, right as John is opening the door for the patrons. “Dave, you look like shit.” she comments casually. 

“Yeah, good morning, Rose.” 

“Seriously, have you slept since you left my place?” She asks, reaching over to your head to fix your hair. 

You put on a fake smile. “No, but I’m okay. Really. I’m not tired.” 

“Someone get this kid some coffee.” She says, walking into the back to get rid of her bags. She stops on the way to call Bec a good boy. 

“Already done!” Jade calls over her shoulder. 

You can hear the smile in Rose’s voice. “You’re perfect, Jade.” 

“I try.” 

 

As incognito as possible, you stand next to Rose’s desk and rearrange the audiobooks while you wait for her to come sit down and get herself organized. When she finally graces her desk with her presence, you lean over slightly so you can whisper into her ear without looking too suspicious. 

“Is he coming today?” You ask. You sound… too nervous. 

Rose hesitates before answering you. “Yes.” She says, choosing her words deliberately. “He has your shoes.” 

It’s only then that you realize you are, indeed, wearing Rose’s hot pink crocs still. 

They’re not exactly work shoes. In any other working environment, you’re pretty sure you’d get reprimanded for that, but not here. Terezi will just compliment you on your fashion sense. God damn, you love your job. 

You look at Rose, and your shades are on, but somehow she sees right through you anyway. 

“It’s okay.” She says, and you really want to believe her. 

 

By lunch, Jade has convinced you to take a fucking nap. Not that you needed much convincing. Your body sure ain’t what it used to be, so you guess that means your teenage experience of pulling all-nighters twice a week has died hard. You crash in the break room, sitting up and leaning against the wall. Rose said she’d wake you up. You have enough faith in her to know that means she’ll wake you up when Karkat gets here. 

She holds true to her word. The next time your eyes open, she’s crouched in front of you, holding a cup of break room coffee (much worse than Jade’s flirting coffee). 

“Karkat’s here.” She says. “I told him you were eating lunch. He said he’d wait for you.” She’s smirking. 

“Okay.” You say, rubbing your eyes and grabbing the coffee. “Are the kids here?” 

Rose nods. “Meenah asked for you.” 

That makes you smile. Karkat was complicated. The kids, however, were not. You run a hand through your hair and throw your shades on, checking your reflection in the microwave to make sure you look presentable. 

Karkat is standing right by the circulation desk, holding a plastic bag with the loops tied into a bow. John, sitting at circulation with a line of people to check out in front of him, is very obviously losing his shit. 

“Mornin’, Karkat.” You say, using most of your energy to keep your voice level. 

He turns around quickly, trying not to look like you just scared him. His fear renders him temporarily unable to remember what he was going to say. 

“Uh, I have your shoes.” He says instead, a little stupidly. 

You pretend like the blush on his ears doesn’t make you happy. 

“Oh cherry garcia, thanks.” He hands you the bag, and you take it. “I had to wear Rose’s god awful crocs that are crimes against humanity to work.” 

Both of you look down at said crimes against humanity. Karkat practically cringes when he lays his eyes upon them. “Those are awful.” He concedes. 

“They are _not!_ ” Rose hollers from her desk, cementing in your head the fact that she was listening in on you. You had figured, of course, but now you have proof. 

“Library voices, Rose,” Aradia shushes her. 

Both of you inch closer and lower your voices so they can’t fucking eavesdrop on you like this anymore. You feel your ears heating up, and it’s _embarrassing_. 

“Uh, Dave, were you sleeping in the guest bedroom? Did I wake you up?” Karkat asks suddenly, not meeting your eyes. “Did they wake you up?” He cocks his head in the direction of Meenah and Cronus, who are over by the trains. 

“No.” You say instantly. “No. You didn’t. I promise. I, uh, don’t sleep for very long and I had to get going so I thought you might like an actual bed.” 

You’re wringing your hands behind your back. Disgusting. 

“Are you sure?” Karkat asks, looking you right in the eye. 

His eyes are very brown, the color of milk chocolate, and he’s giving you puppy dog eyes  
whether he knows it or not. Karkat’s eyelashes are long and curled, and when he blinks they brush over the freckles scattered around his brown cheeks. He doesn’t stop looking at you, even after he blinks. You devote actual energy into making sure your jaw stays in place, but you don’t break eye contact with him. 

Fuck, if you thought about it his eyes might be beautiful. Good thing you’re not thinking about it. 

“Fuck you, Dave.” Karkat says, furrowing his eyebrows. “Those damn shades won’t even let me know if you’re being serious or not.” 

“I am being serious.” You pretend that him saying your name didn’t make your insides ride the fucking Dragon Coaster. “I promise that you didn’t wake me up. Do you think I’d concede the bed if I was still using it?” 

“I guess not.” Karkat says, crossing his arms. “Whatever. I just wanted to make sure the kids didn’t bother you.” 

“They didn’t.” 

“Yeah, that’s because they prefer to bother me.” He rolls his eyes. 

For some reason, that bothers you. “Oh, please. They like me enough to want to bother me.” You say. 

Karkat looks at you and rolls his eyes. “No, the only people they like enough to bother are me and their dads.” 

“That is so not true. They love me. I made them love me.” 

“Nope. They don’t like you enough, Dave.” 

“That’s cranberry tart and you know it is.” 

“Is that even a real ice cream flavor?” Karkat directs the question to Aradia, who shrugs but types it into google on the circulation computer. Dammit, you thought she was an ally. “Whatever. The point is that they don’t know you well enough to like you.” 

You’ll have to get them to know you so well that they bother you. “Fine. Then I’ll spend so much time around me they have to love me.” 

“As if you could do that.” 

“Is that a challenge?” 

Aradia looks up. “There’s _cranberry_ but there’s no cranberry tart ice cream flavor.” 

You give her the middle finger under the desk. 

“Maybe it is.” Karkat says, turning from looking at Aradia to looking at you. 

“Then it’s on.” You say. 

Karkat nods, and then the argument between the two of you is broken and you both notice that you’ve closed any distance between yourselves, and your chests have got to be at most three inches apart. 

You both take a frightened step back. 

There’s silence for a few beats, while you and Karkat try not to stare at each other and John, Aradia, and Rose try not to laugh or leave the room. 

“Okay. Well. I’ll be going, then.” Karkat says, turning on his heel and walking towards the kids. 

You watch him crouch down next to Meenah and gather Cronus in his arms. Meenah starts excitedly trying to explain something to him, and he’s nodding. Then you turn around so nobody can see the definitely strange expression on your face and clamp a hand over your mouth. 

John and Rose follow you back into the break room. You don’t turn around to face them until they’re both in the break room, and then you whirl around, your hand still on your mouth to hide your smile - well, it’s less of a smile and more of a grimace. 

“Was that the thing you were texting me about last night?” John asks. 

Rose nods for you. “Davey’s got a crush.” She says, as if he’s incapable of drawing intelligent conclusions on his own. 

“Really, Rose?” You ask, long-suffering. You remove the hand from your mouth, trying to keep your facial expression in check, but you’re still smiling. 

Jade choses this time to emerge from her desk in the back. “Did you get your shoes back?” 

You hold up the bag with your shoes in it wordlessly. Jade nods in approval. “How’d the conversation go?” 

John laughs out loud in response, and you elbow him. 

“It went fine.” You tell Jade. 

“Remember how people in high school used to talk to their crushes? It went like that.” Rose informs her. “At least the patrons got a nice show.” 

You turn to look at her, mortified. “You mean people were _watching?_ ” 

Her and John both nod. 

You take a seat and groan.


	10. Dave == > lose sleep

Your name is Dave, and it is currently 1am on a work night. You’re fucking exhausted, having gotten maybe an hour of sleep last night, but you’re lying awake on your bed replaying your entire conversation with Karkat. 

The amount of “uh”s you used in conversation was downright pitiable. _I thought you might like an actual bed_? Who the fuck says that to anyone? And you had cursed in an ice cream flavor that wasn’t even a real ice cream flavor. _Cranberry tart?_ Who the fuck thinks cranberry tart is a flavor of anything? You disgust yourself. 

Your phone ringing interrupts your self loathing. At first, you think it’s your alarm, and you start to say “fuckdamn” when you realize that, A, it’s still dark, and B, ‘9 to 5’ is not your alarm sound. 

Why is Terezi calling you at - 3 o’clock in the morning? 

“Terezi?” You answer, rubbing your eyes and trying to sound like you still have a simple zest for life. 

“Dave! I knew you’d be awake.” She chirrups. 

“Uh-huh.” You reply, long-suffering. 

Terezi sighs. “Listen, I have to fucking complain for a second.” 

“Go off.” You say, only half-listening. 

“That library a half hour away - you know, the rich one - just got new furniture. Again. And they emailed me this afternoon; they want to ‘donate’ their old shit to us like we’re beggars and they’re doing some kind of charity act.” She spits, like the other library’s spitting in the face of justice. 

“Are we gonna take it?” 

“Of course we fucking are we haven’t had new furniture in 15 years.” She responds immediately. “But don’t think for a second that I’m happy about it, and I don’t expect any of you to be happy about it either.” 

“Okay.” You say, placating her. 

Terezi doesn’t say anything else, but you can feel her anger radiating off of her in waves, even through the phone line. 

“Wait a second, am I getting a new desk?” You ask. 

“Yes.” 

“Oh _fuck_ yes.” 

“You’re no help at all, Dave.” Terezi says. 

“I try.” 

The line goes dead then, either because Terezi is too angry to talk to someone who thinks new furniture is a good thing or because she knows all the librarians are lost causes and she’d like to go to bed. 

You rub your eyes and put the phone down, resigning to getting at least one hour of sleep tonight. 

 

Sleep does, in fact, come to you - for two entire hours. You were afraid of having some kind of wet dream about Karkat, something very embarrassing especially because you have to see him in the morning, but you don’t. Instead, your subconscious gives you something even worse than that. 

_Your eyes flutter open, and there’s sunlight streaming down on your face. When you open your eyes, you’re face to face with Karkat, who’s sleeping in the same bed as you. You’re both facing each other, your legs tangled together. You’re cuddling._

_“Good morning, Dave.” Karkat says as his eyes open, and you can see your reflection in his eyes. You’re not wearing your shades, but he’s not surprised or shocked by your eyes at all._

_Then he leans forward and kisses you, placing an arm on your neck. You kiss him back, smiling into the kiss, your hands moving into his hair. “Mornin’.” You mumble as you break the kiss, in a scruffy morning voice without trying to hide your twinge._

_Karkat grins. “Breakfast?” He asks, his hand still on the side of your neck, thumb gliding over your cheek._

_“No. This is better.” You say, still staring into his eyes._

_He laughs, and kisses you again._

 

When you wake up, you’re _smiling_. Really smiling. You fucking hate yourself. 

With a groan, you get up and shake your head as if that’s going to free you from thoughts about Karkat (it doesn’t). But you shove him as far back in your mind as you can, and you get ready for the day. 

Thank God it’s a storytime day, so at least you have something else to occupy yourself. 

You aren’t five feet in the door at the library when Aradia bombards you and says “Dave please help me run the holds” in a hushed voice. You guess that means some funky business is happening here, so your guard goes up, but you print out the holds anyway. 

It turns out the funky business is Terezi, whose glasses are askew as she sits at the circulation desk, looking like she’s a couple tacos short of a fiesta. “Morning, Terezi.” Is all you say as you walk past her. She’s checking her emails and ignores the greeting. 

Five minutes later, right after you find the large print James Patterson novel Aradia spent a very long time looking for and subsequently brag about your victory, Terezi gets up and stands _atop_ the circulation desk. 

“Uh, Terezi, I… think you should get down from there.” John says from his chair at the circulation desk, looking extremely scared, even for him. 

Terezi doesn’t respond. 

“Woah captain what seems to be the matter this fine morning?” You ask, taking the bait. 

She sighs, putting her hands in her hair. “If Dave is doing storytime at 11 and Rose is doing the zentangle class at 11:15 and _I’m_ getting the furniture, then _who’s meeting the mayor?_ ” 

Aradia, who is avoiding the circulation desk as if Terezi will fall on her if she goes near it (a non-zero possibility, really), says, “I can do it! It’s no big deal, and John’s still here to handle circulation!” 

Terezi looks at her and sighs. “Aradia, I love you, but you thought it was a good idea to sew pom poms onto your jeans. I don’t know if you should be trusted with authority figures.” 

Aradia pouts. “They’re _pretty_ , Terezi. It’s _fashion._ ” 

Your boss just shakes her head. “Whatever.” 

 

By the time you’ve tuned your guitar and stalled in the break room for 20 minutes to avoid the deliberation happening at the circulation desk, it’s decided that John will go meet the mayor to talk about the next joint publicity stunt. “Joint” meaning the mayor gets to put on a show about supporting the community while the library gets to put on a show about having local ‘famous’ people help out with programs. You’re glad you missed most of it. 

“Dave.” Jade says, standing in the doorway of the break room. “Am I unprofessional? I am… the _least_ unprofessional person who works here.” She says. 

You look up at her. “Jade, you’re wearing a dog-ear headband.” 

She crosses her arms. “Fuck you.” 

“Did Terezi say you were unprofessional?” 

“Yes! She said Aradia and I were unprofessional and we shouldn’t represent the library to the mayor.” Jade is pouting. 

You’re pretty sure Terezi didn’t mean it in a mean way, but more of a ‘John dresses nicely. Maybe he should meet the mayor’ way, but you don’t say that. “Sorry, Jade.” You tell her instead. “At least now you get to listen to me sing ‘Dance Little Children.’” 

Jade shakes her head. “Like I want that song stuck in my head all day.” But she’s smiling. 

“ _Dave, five minutes!_ ” Aradia yells from the front desk; John must’ve already left. You sling your guitar strap over your shoulder, grab the music stand and the books you’re going to be reading, and walk to the front. 

Rose is sarcastically lecturing Aradia, something about ‘library voices,’ and your audience is already sitting down waiting for you. You give the two of them a salute and head over to your chair. 

You warm the kids and yourself up with ‘Dance Little Children.’ As always, the older and/or more energetic kids come forward and dance in the center. You like to call this your Preskool(™) mosh pit. Today, Meenah joins the baby party, laughing and joking with some of the older kids. _So she’s made friends._ That means now Karkat really has reason to come here more often. 

Speaking of the object of your affections - uh, you mean, the cranky asshole - you haven’t seen him yet. Pretending like you’re looking around to watch the kids dance, you spot him pretty quickly. He’s sitting on the floor, Cronus standing shakily in front of his lap, his tiny baby hands grasping Karkat’s fingers to keep him upright. It’s so adorable you almost melt on the spot. 

Of course, now it’s time to dismiss your thoughts and read some sick stories. You read them _Jump!_ , always a fan favorite, and _The Mitten_ , because the town is in the middle of the hottest week of the summer and it’s time to cool down with some winter stories. 

Finally, it’s time to jam with children. 

“A tisket, a tasket, a green and yellow basket,” you begin, swaying back and forth slowly. 

Your gaze wanders to Karkat, who’s now playing with Cronus as the latter sits in his lap. Maybe too much longing floods your voice as you continue, “I wrote a letter to my love,” 

And then you’re gone, because your mind is drifting to what it would be like to write Karkat a love letter. That would _really_ be embracing the librarian in you. Some kinda cursive on parchment shit. You wonder if he’d like that. If he’d like to be your ‘love.’ 

“And on the way I dropped it. I dropped it, I dropped it, a little girlie picked it up and brought it to the market.” 

Karkat is still watching you, but not like he’s staring; his eyes are idly following you in a way you’d call fond if you weren’t so certain he thinks nothing of you. You continue with the song, strumming slowly. Once again, you thank the lord for your glasses, that nobody can see the way you gaze at Karkat. 

“Are you guys ready for a dancing song?” You ask after finishing, and the kids get excited immediately. As much as you’d like singing pseudo-love songs to Karkat all day, that’s not what they pay you for. Thus begins ‘Skip to My Lou.’ 

‘Skip to My Lou’ is one of those songs you have to sing with your accent. No matter how hard you try, ‘Skip to My Lou’ makes you a Texan again. Most of the time you’re able to pull off vaguely southern, but this song is relentless. And it’s a good song, so you let it expose you. 

“Skip, skip, skip to my Lou, skip, skip, skip to my Lou, skip to my Lou my darlin’,” you begin, the words and chords so ingrained in your head that you don’t even have to think about them. “My boyfriend left me, what’ll I do? My boyfriend left me, what’ll I do, boyfriend left me, what’ll I do? Skip to my Lou, my darlin.’” 

Karkat’s eyebrows raise when you say “boyfriend” as if he had been laboring under the delusion you were somehow straight. A very stupid thing to imagine, really. 

Of course, the lyrics you had found online to ‘Skip to My Lou’ were varied, including both “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.” Which means you had the liberty to choose which word to use, and if these parents don’t want you being gay around their kids then they don’t fucking deserve storytime, anyway. Not like any of these kids bat an eyelash at your flaming display of homosexuality (singing one word), and you go back to the chorus. 

The next verse is _always_ difficult for you to pronounce, no matter how hard you try, because you _had_ to be born in the asscrack of Dixie where nobody knows how to speak. “I’ll find another one, prettier’n’ you, I’ll find another one, prettier’n’ you, I’ll find another one, prettier’n’ you, skip to my Lou my darlin’.” 

‘Prettier’n’’ is an assault on the English language, and everybody knows it. It’s a heinous word, but the kids seem to think it’s silly, and saying ‘I’ll find another one, prettier, too’ is an offense to these lyrics, so _fuck_ balladofamerica.com. 

It takes you a good couple seconds to fix your accent after that one, so you go ham with a guitar solo while these kids have the times of their young lives before the chorus starts again. There are, as unbelievable as it may be, _nine_ verses to this song. You only sing four, because fuck that bullshit. So after “little red wagon, painted blue” and “flies in the buttermilk, shoo, fly, shoo,” you’re able to finish the song. 

“Thanks so much for coming, everybody!” You launch into the usual spiel as you put your guitar back on the stand. Most of the kids head to the children’s room, because the back room you usually turn into a playroom is being occupied by Rose and her zentangle class. It’s going to be a very crowded morning. 

Karkat comes up to you as you’re putting away the sign-up binder. You try not to smile while you look at him. 

“I didn’t know you could do accents like that.” He says, almost awkwardly. 

You laugh. “That wasn’t an accent, it’s how I speak.” 

“No, the southern one.” 

You smile. “I grew up in Texas, Karkat. Usually I can make it sound like a twinge, but I’m a southern baby.”

“Oh.” He says. “I like it.” 

“Thanks. Uh, don’t expect me to start getting all ‘bless your soul’ on you, though.” You tell him. 

“I wouldn’t expect you to. It would be uncharacteristic.” Karkat says, as if he’s studied your ‘character’ enough to know how you act. “Where in Texas? Why’d you come all the way up here?”

“The middle of-” you lower your voice substantially so only he can hear you, “buttfuck nowhere. I hated it.” You pull a face. “But what about you? You don’t have an accent.” Steering the conversation away from uncomfortable topics _and_ find out more about Karkat. You’ve just won Jeopardy! and Alex Trebek just proceeded to propose to you. 

It’s Karkat’s turn to make a face. “New England, but I traveled around enough to learn how to say ‘car’ properly. Uh, my dad was super religious. One of those traveling preachers, y’know? And then I said _fuck this shit_ and left. And came here.” He says, all shifty-eyed. You think he’s adorable. 

“Ah, yes. The library. Home to all.” 

Karkat nods. “The kids like it enough.” 

“It’s a good place. And people can come stay here without paying for anything. It’s ridiculous that we’re one of the few places left like that.” Of course you’re going to bore Karkat with your stupid passion about libraries like some idiot. God, you’re fucking stupid. 

When you look back up at Karkat, his face has changed. He’s got Cronus in one arm, but he’s frantically looking around. “Oh my god, I’ve lost Meenah.” he groans. 

“Do you need help finding her?” You offer immediately. 

He shakes his head. “No, I’ve got it, she can’t be far.” 

Karkat walks away after that, leaving you standing there with a stupid grin on your face that someone will _definitely_ tease you about later.


	11. Karkat == > find Meenah

Your name is Karkat, and you just _lost_ Meenah in the middle of a fucking library. And you had been having a pleasant fucking conversation with Dave, too. But if childcare has taught you anything, it’s that you have to find them as soon as you lose them or they _will_ vacate the premises. 

You walk around the children’s section, scanning the grounds for Meenah, but you just see other people's’ children. 

_Texas._ Dave is from Texas, and he has an accent - a cute accent, as much as that pains you to admit. And he sang about having a boyfriend, which is probably just how the song was written, but it gave you a semblance of gay hope nonetheless. 

_Shut the fuck up,_ you tell yourself. You’re here to find the girl, not think about some stupid librarian. 

You’re stubborn, so it takes you a while to relent. But you do, eventually, and go back to where Dave is standing, metaphorical tail between your non-metaphorical legs. He looks up at you, one blond eyebrow raised above his glasses. 

“I can’t find her.” you say, glaring at him like this is somehow his fault. 

“I’ll help.” Dave says. 

You give him a look, and he responds with a placating, “Buddy, this is first semester at West Point and I’ve been to Vietnam.” 

You roll your eyes. “Fine.” As if you hadn’t wanted his help in the first place. 

“Did you check the children’s section?” He asks, as if you’re a _complete_ idiot. You nod. “Okay, then she’s probably in the bookshelves behind the storytime area.” 

He takes off, and he might be short but you still have to sprint for a second to catch up to him. Dave walks straight into the adult nonfiction section, a place you’ve never been that he knows entirely by the back of his hand. Meenah’s not there, and by now you’re about 85% certain that she _has_ escaped, despite Dave’s insistence that Aradia is a capable reference librarian who is very good at not letting children escape on her watch. 

Of course, Dave has to be the one who finds her. She’s in the biography section, looking at the books as if she can read. “Meenah, you know you can’t walk away without telling me where you’re going.” You say, walking over and kneeling in front of her. 

“I know.” She says, smiling not at all guiltily. 

_Just like her father._

Dave is watching you, laughing. “I have saved you, Karkat. I am your hero. You owe your life to me.” 

“Dave, your ego is the size of a mountain range and I am the stick of dynamite that’s supposed to blow it up.” 

“Ouch.” 

You return to lecturing Meenah. “Remember what we talked about? You can play with your friends, as long as I can see you.” You tell her. She’s nodding, but you can tell she isn’t listening to a word you say. When you finish chewing her out, she rolls her eyes (You don’t know if she learned that from you or Sollux, but either way you’re disappointed). 

You straighten yourself out, standing back up. Cronus doesn’t seem to like this up-and-down game, so he starts fussing. Dave is _still_ laughing at you, his hand clamped over his mouth. You think he’s doing it to muffle the sounds, but you wish he wasn’t; you like it when he laughs. 

He recovers, eventually, leaning on a bookshelf that doesn’t look very structurally sound. “I found Meenah. I think that means I’m close enough to them for the kids to like me.” 

So he _also_ recalls the Most Embarrassing Conversation you’ve ever had. Amazing. “No, I think you just work here so you know the surroundings.” 

Dave pauses for a moment, and then you watch him _actually bite his lip_ ever so slightly. It draws your eyes to his lips, and then you realize that you’re staring at his lips and you curse yourself _so much_. When he finally fucking stops that, he says, “Then maybe I’ll have to see the kids somewhere that _isn’t_ my own territory.” 

You can’t tell if he’s flirting with you or inviting himself into Sollux’s house. So you just deadpan, “What are you insinuating.” 

“I’m _insinuating_ a movie night on neutral grounds. Like last time, only less… accidental.” 

“You want to have a movie night.” The idea of being alone with Dave overnight makes you so nervous your insides twist. “With me, the kids, Rose, and Kanaya.” _Now_ it’s safe.

“Yes.” Dave responds. 

“Where?” 

“Wherever you think I don’t have an unfair advantage.” 

“My place.” 

_Two_ blond eyebrows raise. 

“So you have a disadvantage.” You clarify. 

“Sounds good.” Dave responds. “When?” 

“Tonight.” _Holy fuck, you’re an idiot,_ “If you’re free.” 

There’s a moment before he responds when you’re sure you’ve fucked it up, and he’s gonna see through you and say he’s not interested in you or anything about movie nights. But then he responds, still as stoic as he usually is, “Karkat, I’m a librarian. Do you seriously think I have any plans at night?” 

“Was that a yes?”

Dave smiles. “Yes.” 

“Cool.” 

_Cool? Did you actually just say cool?_

“Do you have the address?” _No, no he does not have Sollux’s address, you dumbfuck._ “No, you don’t. Uh, it’s the kids’ house, I’m staying there to take care of them. Do you have paper and a pen?” 

He’s smiling again at how _dumb_ you are, but Dave pulls a pen out of his pocket. “I don’t have any paper on me, but…” He holds out the back of his hand. 

You take the pen and look at his hand, taking it in your own to steady it, a firm grip on his wrist so you don’t fuck up. Then you write Sollux and Eridan’s address on the back of his hand ever so gently, trying not to hurt him with the tip of the pen. You’re half expecting him to make fun of you for being so cautious, but he’s staring down at you, silent, his mouth almost open. You tear your gaze away because fuck him for being attractive. 

“It’s hard to find. It’s on a cul-de-sac.” You say, breaking the silence that’s so deafening your ears are starting to ring. Dave nods. 

He doesn’t look like he’s paying attention to you, so you say “I’ll just write my number so you can call me when you get lost.” 

After you’ve written down your phone number, you pull away, clicking the pen and handing it back to Dave. He takes the pen and pockets it. “Is 7:30 okay for tonight?” 

Dave looks up at you and catches your eye. “Yeah. Yeah, 7:30 is great.” He smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short but gay :> the next one is longer i promise   
> i love these gays and this au so much please tell me your thoughts about them


	12. Dave == > keyboard smash

Your name is Dave, and shdskffdjfadfdsh. 

You watch Karkat leave the biography section, and you stand there, staring at your hand, like an idiot. Then, after your brain _processes_ what the fuck just happened, you slide down against the wall, hand that doesn’t have Karkat’s number on it in your hair. If you weren’t observing the doctrine of library voices, you might squeal. 

Karkat gave you his number. _Karkat gave you his number and you’re going to his house._

You hold the hand with _Karkat’s number_ on it in front of you, looking at the handwriting. It’s not neat by any means, it’s scrawled in all caps across your hand and he didn’t put his area code in parentheses, but it’s Karkat’s handwriting and for some reason that’s enough to leave you breathless.

You pull your hand out of your hair and trace Karkat’s writing idly, as if you could memorise it. You shut your eyes and think about the way he wrote it, how he took your hand and held it, gentle yet firm, like he didn’t want you to leave. The way you barely felt the gliding of the pen across your hand because he wrote so carefully. 

You could probably die happy now. 

Of course, whatever resides in the sky hates it when you’re happy, so Rose walks by you with the holds cart. 

“God pardon sin! Wast thou with Rosaline?” Rose asks, regarding you questionably. 

“Rosaline, my ghostly father? No. I have forgotten that name and that name’s woe.” You respond dryly. 

Fuck the fact that you and Rose had your Shakespeare phase at the same time, and fuck the fact that you can still quote Romeo and Juliet verbatim. 

“Anyway.” Rose says, ignoring whatever moment the two of you just had. “Did you just make out in the biography section?” 

The remark makes you physically recoil. “No.” You say. “No, he didn’t kiss me.” 

“You _look_ like you just had a makeout session between the bookshelves.” 

“Are you kidding me Rose I am a professional.” 

She rolls her eyes. “So. What has you looking so… post-coital?” 

You hold your hand up for her to see. “Look.” 

“Is that your handwriting? Fuck, it’s awful. I don’t even think I can read that.” Rose says, squinting at it. 

“It’s Karkat’s handwriting,” you say, the smile evident in your voice. “His address. And his number.” The sentence is punctuated by that squeal you had been holding in. 

Rose laughs at you, abandoning the book cart and leaning down so she’s eye-to-eye with you. “He gave you his number?” 

You nod, grinning stupidly. “We’re going to his house tonight.” 

“ _We?_ ” 

“Yes. He said you and Kanaya should come, and for the good of my love life you’re going to.” You say, matter-of-factly. 

Rose feigned disinterest, looking down at her nails. “And what if I’m busy?” 

You roll your eyes. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” 

She doesn’t give in until you’re standing again, trying to get your hair to look normal. And the only reason you’re standing is because somebody walked into the biography section, saw you in your semi-compromising position, and walked out. The idea of that embarrassed you enough to convince you to get on with your adult life. 

“Kanaya and I will attend.” Rose says, as you’re trying to see your reflection in the reflection of a black hardcover. 

You grin. “Awesome.” 

“And.” Rose adds, “Because I’m the best friend you could ever have, we’ll pick you up in my car a little after 7 so we can all arrive at the same time and you won’t sit in your car alone until 7:30 like a fool.” 

You know her well enough to see through her pseudo-insults. “Thanks, Rose.” 

“Go back to your job.” She tells you, but she’s smirking. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, you’re pacing in the breakroom, your phone in your hand. It isn’t a very big room - probably the size of an above-average closet - but you’re still able to properly pace in it, and so you do. Your phone is turned on to the “new message” screen, but you aren’t typing anything in. Karkat’s address and number are still on your hand - the first thing you did when you got back there was take a picture of his handwriting. You never want to wash your hand again. 

“Oh my God, Dave, text him.” Jade says, from her perch on the countertop. She’s been watching you pace this entire time. 

“Fuck, Jade, I can’t just text him.” You reply, the same way you’ve replied to her many times before. “What the fuck am I supposed to say?” 

You think that Jade needs to stop rolling her eyes before they fucking stay that way. “Just say hello.” 

“What do I do, what do I say, how do I act, what do I hope for-” 

“Say hi so he _has your number_ ,” Jade interjects, practically yelling just so you can hear her over your own thoughts. 

“Jade. Not all of us are skilled at flirting. Some of us have to have a meltdown because they got someone’s number.” A voice says from the doorway. 

You look up. It’s John, his face sweaty as all hell, suggesting he just got back from the outside world that so tragically lacks air conditioning. “How did _you_ find out already?” You ask him, turning off your phone. 

He smiles. “Did you really think Rose and Terezi didn’t both text me everything that happened in real time? My phone was going off like crazy in the mayor’s office. It made it seem like I was busy and official, I loved it.” 

Fuck Rose and Terezi for selling you out. But unfuck John, because him bringing up his visit with the mayor distracts Jade from the matter at hand. “Oh, yeah! How did that go? When’s he coming back to the library?” 

John walks into the room, pulling his backpack off and placing it on the floor and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge before he sits down. “It was fine. He’s coming back for another storytime in, like, two weeks? Not to sing, just to read stories. Sorry to interrupt your flow, Dave. He just got a puppy, though, so he was thinking about bringing the dog? I told him no pets are allowed in here except service animals and the reading dog, but he was saying he would leave it outside, I don’t know, I really only listened to him in the beginning, he talked for a long time and there were free cookies in his office.” 

Jade starts talking to John about the intricacies of the mayor bringing a dog - which is a maltipoo, John says, as he and Jade squeal about the apparent cuteness of said breed - and you’re able to tune them out while you go back to staring at your hand. All the nervous sweating you’ve been doing has made the pen kind of wear out, which is very unfortunate because honestly you would get Karkat’s handwriting fucking tattooed on you if you could. You did take a picture of the writing on your phone first thing after storytime, so technically you could get it tattooed, even though that would be pretty weird - 

Dolly Parton’s heralded voice starts blaring out of your phone’s speaker, musically complaining about all taking and no giving. 

“Sup, Terezi.” You say, answering the phone.

“Dave, I need you to stop being a gay disaster and come meet me outside.” She says. “The furniture wouldn’t fit in your car so I had to tie a bookshelf that was hanging out of the trunk to one of your seats and it came loose in the train station parking lot.” 

“Hang on - _my car?_ ” You ask, incredulous. 

John and Jade look a little too guilty. 

“Uh… yeah.” Terezi says. “We rented a moving van but it wasn’t big enough so I took your car.” 

“How did you get my keys?” You demand. 

“Dave, honey, you don’t notice _anything_ when you’ve got a crush.” Jade says. She’s holding up your wallet. 

“Oh my god. Okay, I’ll be right there.” 

You hang up the phone and turn to look at Jade and John, who are both smiling very guiltily. “You could’ve told me she was taking the car. God, she probably almost crashed it.” You say, shaking your head. You leave your phone on the break room table, shooting Jade and John a death glare before you leave. 

Terezi is standing in the middle of the train station parking lot, a very short bookshelf on the floor beneath your car’s open roof. There’s a broken rope training on the floor. She looks up at you expectantly, like you’re supposed to fix this whole mess yourself. 

“Where did you get the idea that this would be plausible?” You ask, but she probably thinks it a rhetorical question, because she doesn’t answer. 

Terezi tries to explain to you how she managed to shove a frankly unbelievable amount of furniture into your van. You have to sit down halfway through because you’re so exhausted by how strange your life is. 

“I don’t know how it fell out, I thought they were all secure!” She says, exasperated. 

“Terezi, stay here with the bookshelf. I’m gonna drive my car back to the library, unload the furniture, and come back to get you and the bookshelf. And you’d better hope you didn’t break my car because if you did I’m not coming back.” You tell her, using the voice you would use to explain metaphysics to a dog. 

She relents. “Okay. Leave the furniture at the end of the parking lot, we’ll fix it all after closing.” 

“I can’t stay after closing.” 

Terezi clearly isn’t listening to you. “Yeah, yeah, I know it’s not fun but you’ll still be getting paid overtime.” 

“Terezi, I have _plans_.” 

She seems surprised. “Are you going on a date with Karkat?” 

“How do you - I mean, no! I have dinner plans with him, Rose, and Kanaya. You’ll have to find other suckers to do your bidding.” 

“Fine, fuck you. The others will get paid overtime _and_ I’ll buy them dinner.” For some reason, she thinks she can convince you to not spend an entire evening with Karkat. Laughable, really. 

 

At 7:25, you’re sitting in the backseat of Rose’s Subaru (Kanaya got shotgun because they’re in love or whatever). You’re pulling at the sleeves of your sweater and stressing. 

“We can’t walk in there yet it’s early.” You say, tapping Rose’s shoulder. She’s in the middle of parallel parking in front of Karkat’s friends’ house, a very large Victorian that immediately makes you peg them as assholes. 

“Dave, 5 minutes is hardly early.” Kanaya says. 

“Quiet, Kanaya, I am in the middle of suffering.” 

Rose might have her eyes on the road but you can _feel_ her roll them. “I am not sitting in a hot car in front of this house for five minutes just to listen to you freak out.” 

“Are the kids sleeping? Do they think it’s weird that I’m at their house? _Is_ that weird?” 

“ _Dave._ ” Rose and Kanaya say at the same time. 

You fix your hair in your phone camera again just to make sure it’s perfect. You outfit has been agonized over, and four people have approved of it but you’re still not sure. You haven’t been able to think clearly all day, and Karkat’s handwriting is still on your hand. You had been silly for wondering if Karkat would like a letter from you, because _you’re_ the one who would fiend for a handwritten note from him. 

Rose probably hates you by now, as she’s been putting up with your gay bullshit all day. “Dave, we’re leaving the car.” She says, standing.

Begrudgingly, you follow her. It’s 7:26. 

Well, 7:27 when Kanaya knocks on the door. Karkat answers immediately. He stands in front of the door, his hair all over the place but still _perfect_ -looking, wearing grey sweatpants and a shirt reading “GAY FOR BATMAN.” 

“Greetings, mothers and fuckers.” Karkat says. “The children are sleeping. Their bedroom is on the third floor so they shouldn’t hear us but if any of you wake them up I will fuck you up so bad you’ll be eating Cronus’s baby food for weeks.” 

“Good evening, Karkat.” Rose replies as her and Kanaya walk in, leaving you behind in the doorway. 

“Only for Batman?” You ask, stepping inside so he can’t see you blush. 

Rose and Kanaya are already sitting on the couch comfortably. They seem completely at ease - they’ve been here before. Rose beckons for you to sit down, and you do. She doesn’t speak until Karkat is sitting as well. 

“We’re watching _Clue._ ” 

Karkat throws his hands in the air in something that could only be described as dismay. “We are _not_ watching _Clue!_ ” 

“Yes we are.” 

“Rose, you make us watch _Clue_ every time you’re here. I swear to Christ let it go.” 

“First of all, it’s a good movie. And also, Sollux and Eridan are the only people who have Hulu and that means I can _only_ watch it here.” Rose says. 

“Get their fucking Hulu password!”

This is when Rose and Karkat simultaneously realize you’re present and turn to you, hoping for a tiebreaker round. 

“I’ve never seen Clue.” You say. 

“Oh my god he has to watch it,” Rose says, at the same time as Karkat’s “God, at least _someone_ is unsoiled.” 

“Karkat fuck you _Clue_ is a good movie and you know it.” 

Karkat rolls his eyes. “It sure is decent but it stops being good after the third time you watch it!” 

“That is not true and you know it, I have seen _Clue_ so many times and it never ceases to-” 

“Can we just watch _Clue_?” You ask, exasperated, shutting the two of them up. 

You’ve never seen Karkat look more offended. “How _could_ you?” He asks. 

“I’ve never seen it, and your anger makes me want to.” You reply, smirking. 

“Fuck. Fine.” Karkat relents, and you try to ignore the look Rose and Kanaya give each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> youre welcome for including the two best lines in romeo and juliet and possibly all of shakespeare
> 
> also if you caught the falsettos reference i owe you my life


	13. Karkat == > suffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy 413!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are definitely in hell. 

_Clue_ is the movie that won’t end, which you know because you’ve seen it with Rose plenty of times. But you can tolerate her, even when she stands up to deliver certain lines, and when she laughs too loudly at lines she definitely knew by heart. No, the thing that really finalizes your fate is fucking Dave. 

He falls asleep fairly early in the movie, but you don’t notice it until Kanaya points it out. “Dave’s asleep.” She comments, eyes still on the screen. 

Rose tears her gaze away from her precious movie to look at him. “Good,” she says, “he hasn’t been sleeping lately.” 

“Is he okay?” you ask, definitely too quickly. You look down at him. 

Dave’s lying down, curled up in the curve of the couch. His shades are still on, and his mouth is slightly open - but you _aren’t _looking at it - and his arms are crossed over his chest. If you didn’t have a brain, perhaps you’d call him cute.__

__“He’s stressed.” Rose replies, eyeing you. She lapses into silence once again, and you know you aren’t going to get anything else out of her._ _

__Then the chandelier falls in the movie, and Dave starts in his sleep. You only notice because his hand hits your thigh when he jumps, not because you were looking at him or anything of the sort. Rose looks at him, too, worried._ _

__He shifts around, ending up with his face in the couch. “Karkat?” Dave mumbles, and you have no idea if he’s even awake._ _

__“Yeah, Dave?” You find yourself replying, as you get up from the couch and sit down in front of him._ _

__His head is still in the fucking couch, and at this point you’re kind of nervous he’s going to suffocate or something stupid. So you reach out gingerly and shift him away from the couch, and he jumps again, turning his face towards you. You can’t tell if his eyes are open. Stupid fucking shades._ _

__“Karkat?” He asks again._ _

__“Yeah, I’m here.” You say, placing your hand on the couch, just inches away from his. You can feel Rose and Kanaya’s eyes on you, and your ears start to heat._ _

__“Oh, thank fuck,” he replies, and his eyes must be open, because then he holds your hand._ _

__Dave is _holding your hand._ _ _

__“What was that noise?” He asks, anxiety starting to creep into his voice._ _

__You shake your head. “Just the movie. It’s okay.” You rub his hand with your thumb._ _

__“Okay.” Dave replies._ _

__He doesn’t say anything after that, but you don’t look away from him. You still really don’t know if he’s sleeping or not, but you want to make sure he feels okay. You know Rose is looking at you with that inscrutable eyebrow raise, but you don’t care. You’d rather know Dave feels safe here._ _

__You don’t even know the movie’s over until Rose and Kanaya are standing up. “We’re gonna head home, it’s late.” Kanaya says to you._ _

__“What about Dave? Didn’t he come here with you?” You ask, tearing your gaze off Dave for the first time._ _

__Rose bites the inside of her cheek. “Once he wakes up, he won’t be able to fall asleep. Is it okay if we… if he spends the night?”_ _

__“Yeah, of course. There’s more than enough room here.” You find yourself replying without really thinking._ _

__Rose and Kanaya share a look that you don’t care enough about to dissect the meaning of, and then they gather their shit and leave Sollux’s house._ _

__And then you’re left alone with Dave._ _

__Without anyone else on the couch, he looks kind of cramped. So you reach under him and shift him so he isn’t all curled up anymore. He doesn’t flinch this time, instead Dave almost leans into your touch. You remove his sunglasses and kind of hope he doesn’t need to keep them on 24/7, but just in case he does you leave them folded up right next to his head. Rose must’ve had a point; there are dark circles under his eyes that can’t just be recent additions to his face. You’re not sure if he’s cold, but just in case he is you cover him with one of the blankets draped over the couch._ _

__You turn the television off, and you’re kind of wary about leaving Dave alone, and Cronus will definitely wake up in the middle of the night because he hasn’t learned how to sleep through a night yet, so there’s really no point in going into your bedroom, really. Yeah, you’d rather Dave wake up with a familiar face nearby, so you make yourself comfortable on the other end of the couch, being careful not to touch him. And that’s where you fall asleep._ _

__Dave == > wake up _ _

__Your name is Dave, and you are not used to opening your eyes to white, scratchy fabric._ _

__The first thought that goes through your head is _this is unfamiliar_ , and then the second is _I’m in danger._ You can feel every single muscle in your body tense, and then you’re immediately on the defensive. You don’t remember falling asleep, and your shades aren’t on, and your breathing is really starting to pick up while you wait for your brother to make his appearance. _ _

__But then your third distinct thought is _holy fuck, it smells like bacon._ _ _

__That calms you down a little. At least, it calms you enough to sit up on your own and try to get your bearings. You sit and grapple for your sunglasses, which are surprisingly right next to your face. You put them on and open your eyes properly, because your dumbass is now sensitive to bright light entirely due to your own stupidity._ _

__Oh._ _

__You’re in the house Karkat’s staying in._ _

__Speak of the devil. “Dave! Good morning. Do you want breakfast?” Karkat calls from somewhere in the distance. You turn to face the direction of his voice._ _

__He’s standing in the doorway of the kitchen, still in pajamas, a frying pan in his hand. His hair is all messy from sleeping and there’s syrup on his nose and he’s _smiling_ despite how early in the morning it’s got to be. _ _

__“Good morning, Karkat.” You reply, your voice still weird from sleeping, unable to stop the grin that comes to your face._ _

__“Do you eat meat?” Karkat asks, which seems very incongruent with the conversation you thought you were having with him._ _

__“Yeah?” It comes out like a question because - well, because you’re fucking confused._ _

__Karkat shrugs, walks out of view, and returns a few seconds later sans the frying pan. “I didn’t know if you ate meat, and I figured just fish pancakes wouldn’t be enough breakfast, so I made vegetarian bacon.” he explains._ _

__“Did - Karkat, did you put fish in the pancakes?” You honestly wouldn’t put it past him._ _

__Karkat hesitates, and then shakes his head. “No, what the fuck?” He says._ _

__“You called them fish pancakes!” How dare he make you look like the bad guy here._ _

__“They’re pancakes shaped like fish!” He explains, leaving again to grab the frying pan. “Who the fuck would put fish in a pancake?”_ _

__“That’s what I was fucking asking!” You yell, trying very hard to not burst out laughing._ _

__Karkat gasps theatrically. “The kids just _heard_ your foul language!” _ _

__You can hear giggling coming from the kitchen._ _

__Oh, The Tonight Dough. You finally fucked that rule up._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're looking for more homestuck content, i have other fics up on here :>   
> my tumblr: lafayettesass


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